Category: Articles by others

  • Evolutionary Relationships: The Seven Requirements Of Love

    By Andrew Harvey

    An Excerpt From “Evolutionary Love Relationships: Passion, Authenticity,and Activism“

    It is critical to remember that this crisis we are facing is a crisis in which the sacred powers of love in the human soul are being diverted by distraction, by greed, by ignorance, by the pursuit of power, so that they never irrigate the world and transform it. What is needed is a vision of evolutionary relationship as a relationship that helps us come into the real, take responsibility for it, and enact our sacred purpose with a partner, and for the world: when two lovers come together in this dynamic love consciousness, they create a transformative field of sacred energy, from which both can feed to inspire their work in reality.

    There are seven requirements necessary, I believe, for this tremendously potent vision of evolutionary love to emerge in the world.

    The first requirement is that both beings need to be plunged individually into a deep and passionate devotion of the Beloved, by whatever name they know the Beloved, because without both beings centering their life in God, the relationship will never be able to escape the private circle. From the very beginning it must be centered in the Divine. It must be a relationship that is undertaken in the conscious presence of the Divine for the Divine’s great work in the Universe. Only a relationship that is centered in God, and that has God as the prime actor in the relationship, will be able to bear the vicissitudes of authentic love, of dealing with the challenges of life and service in the world.

    The second requirement for an evolutionary love is that both beings must develop a mastery of solitude. In his Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke wrote:

    “Authentic love is where two solitudes border, protect, and salute each other.”

    They “border” each other, they don’t infiltrate each other’s domain. They “protect” because they realize that the solitude that each one has is the source of inner wealth and inner revelation; they “salute” because they understand that the work of solitude, the work that goes into solitude, the heart work, the yearning, the longing, the deep contemplation of one’s gifts and one’s faults, is a sacred work that is the secret foundation of healthy relationship. In too many relationships in our current narcissistic model, what threatens the person most is the solitude of the other. In a true evolutionary relationship, what can exhilarate one person the most is the other’s solitude, because they know that solitude has the potential to make them a billionaire of generosity, of insight, and of creativity.

    The third requirement is that in a true evolutionary relationship there is an equality of power, and that equality is born out of a profound experience of the sacredness and dignity of the other person’s soul. This new relationship that is trying to be given to us by the Mother is what I call the beloved-beloved relationship. One person isn’t the beloved and the other only the lover. Both partners recognize in each other the unique face that God is turning to them in order to bring them the essence of divine truth, which is embodied love. From that recognition of each other as the Beloved flows a natural movement of passionate honoring and service of the other’s life. This gives each person the freedom and the energy and the joy that they need to go out into the world and fulfill their destiny. This is crucial because in the past there has been a vision of inequality of power.

    The male has often had the power and the female hasn’t. Dominant and submissive roles between two people have been seen as inevitable.

    Now what’s emerging is the mutual recognition of holiness and sacredness expressed in tantric rapture, in an adoration and worship of the other in the core of life.

    The fourth requirement follows on from the third: if you are going to have a beloved-beloved relationship, you have to center your whole being and work and evolution in God. You have to be a master of your own solitude so that you can work on what is necessary to deepen that sacred relationship of the Divine. You must also bring the sacred practice of prayer and meditation into the very core of your life, so that the whole relationship can be enfolded in a mutually shared sacred enterprise.

    The fifth requirement is that both lovers completely abandon any Hollywood sentimentality about what relationships actually are. As love becomes more evolutionary and conscious, so does each lover’s understanding of each other’s shadow. One of the essential roles of this new love is to make each person in the relationship the safe-guarder of the other’s shadow—not the judge of the other’s shadow, not the denier of the other’s shadow, but someone who recognizes where the other has been wounded, and safeguards and protects them with unconditional compassion without allowing themselves to be mauled or manipulated by the other. This takes an immense effort, because it takes an immense effort to understand your own shadow, and an even greater effort to face and comprehend, without illusion, denial or repulsion, the shadow of the other.

    The sixth requirement is that if you are going to enter into the evolutionary process, you have to accept that it never ends, never stops unfolding.

    There is no end to transformation, because divine love is infinite.

    Evolution is fundamentally a death/rebirth cycle that repeats itself in higher and higher dimensions, and any authentic evolutionary relationship must have the courage to go through the deaths that engender the rebirths. Marion Woodman, the great Jungian analyst and pioneer of the sacred feminine, said to me, “I have had four marriages with my husband, and at the end of each marriage there was a crisis that we had to make the commitment to go through, a projection that had to die. But we stuck at it and we went through it, and the love that we know now in our eighties is the greatest and deepest love we have experienced.”

    The seventh principle requirement is that from the very beginning of this adventure into evolutionary love you must make the commitment for it not to be just a personal orgy, a cultivation of an oasis of private pleasure. You must engage consciously in this relationship to make you stronger, to serve the planet, to recognize that it is a relationship not only grounded in God, not only infused by sacred practice, but it is from the very beginning dedicated to making both people more powerful, more reflective, more passionately engaged with the only serious truth of our time: The world is dying, and we need a major revolution of the heart to empower everyone to step forward and start doing the work of reconstruction and re-creation that is now desperately needed.

    Andrew is the author of The Hope, Play Life More Beautifully and Evolutionary Love Relationships: Passion, Authenticity,and Activism.

  • Masculinity Is Not Our Enemy

    Challenging mischaracterizations of masculinity will help us raise healthy boys.

    Taken from a blog post, Jan 24 2019 in Psychology Today

    Something has happened to our academic culture–the culture that teaches educators how to teach, therapists how to counsel, and parents how to parent–and it is both very satisfying and somewhat frightening.  Satisfying is that our academic culture is waking up to the fact that boys and men in America need our love and support.   Child advocates like myself who are parents of daughters have been saying for years,  “We can’t do much more for our daughters if we don’t help their future husbands–our nation’s sons–too.”   Many people like you have been asking representatives of national organizations such as the National Education Association, American Psychological Association, and American Medical Association to see what is going on with boys and men.

    As I pointed out in Saving Our Sons (2017), despite that there are many powerful men at the top of society, there is also no American demographic group in which males in that group are doing better than females in the aggregate.  While subsections of females are doing worse than males, there are equal or more subsections of males doing worse than females.  Even the World Health Organization made this point in 2015.  White females, for instance, have better health than white males and more access to health resources; they have better aggregate grades, test scores, college graduation rates, post-secondary education; they are safer at home and in school than white males. The list is very long, and the same holds true for comparisons of African American, Native American, Latino American, and Asian American males and females.

    When the American Psychological Association put out its Guidelines for Practice with Boys and Men in January 2019, I was delighted to see its clarity in pointing out male privation–from high suicide rates to depression, anxiety, addiction, and violence.  These are diseases that need treatment, and the APA acknowledged it.  But from the first sentences of the Guidelines, the APA did what so many other organizations do:  fall back on the soft science of “masculinity is the cause of men’s problems” and “removing masculinity is the solution.”  This last couple weeks, I’ve been asked to publicly respond to the APA report.  What follows here is introductory analysis and then one of my responses.  My basic point is this: even by the APA’s definition, “masculinity,” which they suggest therapists help us remove from males, is actually a good thing.

    Masculinity is characterized, according to the APA, by strength, stoicism, aggression, and power.   Like our academic institutions in general today, the APA presents these aspects of masculinity as our nation’s largest male problem.  In reality, however, if boys are to survive and thrive in a complex world, they must work to be strong (resilient, empowered, able to perform, and at appropriate times, stoic in the face of enemies and hardship), aggressive (assertive, motivated, and able to battle against bullies, as well as help us fight our wars both abroad and at home), powerful (successful in work, in life, in leadership, and, when needed, in follower-ship to leaders who are morally sound).   These qualities are intertwined with tenderness, kindness, compassion, spiritual vitality, empathy, fortitude, character, and fatherhood.  We are able to have compassion because we are strong; we are able to live from a position of kindness because we have the power to do so.

    As profiles of school shooters have shown us, the most dangerous male is not one who is strong, aggressive, and successful; the most dangerous male is one who is depressed, unable to partner or raise children successfully, unable to earn a living, unable to care for his children.  The most dangerous man is not one with power but one who feels powerless.  Our culture has focused its media on the million or so males who have a lot of power at the top but, for the most part, forgotten the millions who don’t; these millions live in inner cities and rural farms, gentrified suburbs and city lofts, corner bars and cardboard boxes, gang crash pads and parents’ basements.  They are in constant fight or flight mode in a culture that has abandoned them, and every decade we see their withdrawal from and violence against society, and themselves, increase.

    In The Wonder of Boys (1996), I argued that masculinity is, at its heart, a “husbanding” vision of strength, purpose, honor, power, and compassion that culminates in the art of building a strong enough male self to be able to give that self to others in love and marriage, in parenting and mentoring, in work and life.   Few people were more masculine than Martin Luther King, John F. Kennedy, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Thurgood Marshall–you name it, the men who help us most are each in their own way quite masculine.  If we are going to solve issues faced by everyone today–boys, girls, women, men, and everyone on the gender spectrum–we must challenge academic culture to go deeper into who boys are, and what most people in America see very clearly:  boys need more masculinity, not less; more fathering, not less; more healthy manhood, not less.

    And we must respond when people exploit narrow definitions of masculinity for their own ends.  Gillette did this recently in their now famous 2 minute add (check on You Tube for “The Best a Man Can Get”).  The ad presented men and masculinity in a basically negative light, and presented normal masculine rough housing as part of toxic masculinity when, in fact, rough housing is a crucial tool in brain development.  Interestingly, when Dove and similar companies have created commercials that approach girls’ and women’s lives from a clearly political lens, they have done so by seeking to find the beauty in girls and women, rather than leading with and ending with basically negative portrayals of girls and women.  In taking the opposite course, Gillette asked men to be accountable for bad behavior:  that part of the ad is admirable, and useful; but, like the APA, Gillette does not understand how important masculine development is to human development and survival.  They especially do not understand that above all else, males who seek to be masculine will not countenance violence against women or children.  Masculinity is a protective force against violence, not an invitation to commit violence.

    Masculinity and “masculine norms” can handle academic and social dialogue.  As social forces, they can handle very useful calls for expansion beyond some stereotype of self.   But masculinity is fragile, too, as millions of failing males prove.  It is too fragile to be accused by our nation’s smartest people of crimes it has not committed.  And our sons are too fragile to survive and thrive if those who ostensibly care for them–from academics to businesses to schools to communities–suggest our sons’ biggest crime is their very existence.  As McGill University researcher and co-author of Replacing Misandry Paul Nathanson has pointed out:  This will lead to self-hatred in boys and men, which is very dangerous, indeed.

    Bad men do bad things and some men never grow beyond a small self.  To pretend masculinity has caused these social and personal conditions is to distract ourselves from huge areas of real pain all around us.   Let’s stop treating masculinity as our enemy:  let’s start helping boys to grow into the good men their own personal character and drive want them to be.

    Response to the American Psychological Association Guidelines on Practice with Boys and Men

    Tony was a 14-year-old boy who walked into my counseling office with a lot of issues.  Short for his age and not yet visibly pubescent, he had been diagnosed with ADHD and his parents felt he might be depressed.  He was like hundreds of boys and men I’ve seen in my clinical practice:  if the counselor knew how to work with him as a young male, Tony would work with me; if the counselor didn’t, he wouldn’t.

    After normal intake, the first thing we did together was walk outside, talking shoulder-to-shoulder.  Because the male brain is often cerebellum dependent (it often needs physical movement) in order to connect words to feelings and memories, we sat down only after our walk finished.  By then, a great deal had happened for Tony.

    Once in our chairs, we talked with a ball in hand, tossing it back and forth, like fathers often do with children.  This cerebellum and spatial involvement help the male brain move neuro-transmission between limbic system and frontal lobe (where word centers are). We also used visual images, including video games, to trigger emotion centers, and we discussed manhood and masculinity a great deal, since Tony and every boy yearns for mentoring in the human ontology of how to be a man.

    I’ve seen hundreds of girls and women in my therapy practice.  Few of them needed walking, physical movement, and visual-spatial stimulation to help access memories, emotions, and feelings because most girls are better able to access words-for-feelings than boys and men while sitting still:  girls and women have language centers on both sides of the brain connected to memory, emotion, and sensorial centers while the male brain mainly has these word centers in the left.

    Without our realizing it over the last fifty years, we’ve set up counseling and psychological services for girls and women.  “Come into my office,” we say kindly.  “Sit down.  Tell me how you feel/felt.”  Boys and men fail out of counseling and therapy because we have not taught our psychologists and therapists about the male and female brain.  Only 15% of new counselors are male, leaving 85% female.  Clients in therapy skew almost 80% female—males are dragged in by moms or spouses, but generally leave an environment unequipped for the nature of males.

    Male nature, the male brain, the need to contextualize boyhood into an important masculine journey to manhood are missing from the new American Psychological Association’s Guidelines for Practice with Boys and Men (www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf.)  While the document calls attention to male developmental needs and crises in our culture, which I celebrate as a researcher and practitioner in the field, it then falls into an ideological swamp.

    Males, we are told, are born with dominion created by their inherent privilege; females (and males) are victims of this male privilege.  The authors go further to discuss what they see as the main problem facing males—too much masculinity; they call it the root of all or most male issues from suicide to early death to depression to substance abuse to reason for family break ups to school failure to violence.  They claim that fewer males than females seek out therapy or stay in therapy and health services because of “masculinity.”  Never is the skewed female-friendly mental health environment discussed.  The assumption that all systems skew in favor of males, not females, is so deeply entrenched in our culture today, the APA never has to prove it.

    Perhaps most worrisome:  the APA should be a science-based organization, but its guidelines lack hard science.  Ruben and Raquel Gur, Tracey Shors, Louanne Brizendine, Sandra Witelson, Daniel Amen, and the hundreds of scientists worldwide who use brain scan technology to understand male/female brain difference do not appear in the Guidelines.  Practitioners like myself and Leonard Sax, M.D., Ph.D., who have conducted multiple studies in science-based practical application of neuroscience to male nurturance in schools, homes, and communities are not included.

    Included are mainly socio-psychologists who push the idea that maleness is basically socialized into “masculinities” that destroy male development.  Stephanie Pappas on the APA website sums up the APA’s enemy:  “Traditional masculinity — marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, and aggression — is, on the whole, harmful.”  Our job as therapists is, the authors teach, to remove all but the ideologically sound “masculinities” from boys and men, and specifically remove masculinities that involve competition, aggression, strength, and power.

    How much longer can our society and its professionals pretend we are developing a saner society by condemning the very parts of males that help them succeed, heal, and grow?  In the same way that it is misogynistic to claim femininity is inherently flawed, it is misandrist to claim that masculinity is also thus.

    I am an example:  I was a sexual abuse victim in my boyhood, and a very sensitive boy.  My ten years of healing from the abuse came as much from tapping into masculine strength as it did by expanding my sense of self in the 1970s toward the feminine.  Both are good; neither is zero-sum, but I could not have healed without masculinity.

    Part of the problem with the APA guidelines is that, from a neuro-science point of view, masculinity is not as limited as Pappas’ assessment.  Masculinity is an amalgam of nature, nurture, and culture.  Masculinity—including traditional masculinity–is an ontology in which a male of any race, creed, ethnicity, or kind commits to developing and exercising strength, perseverance, hard work, love, compassion, responsibility for others, service to the disadvantaged, and self-sacrifice.

    What professional in the psychology field would not want to embolden these characteristics?  Most fathers and mothers would want counselors to embolden them because, despite the APA authors’ lip-service to fathering in the document, fathering and mentoring boys in masculine development has been proven one of the most important determinants in child safety, school success, and emotional and physical health.

    Not the erasure of masculinity but the accomplishment of it is required—including inside the counseling office and while walking along the street—if we are to save our sons from the crises outlined in the APA guidelines.  Without counselors and parents understanding how to raise and protect masculine development and the male brain, boys like Tony drift in and out of video games, depression, substances, half-love, and, often, violence.

    The masculine journey is not perfect and expanding what “masculine” and “man” mean to a given family and self is a point well made by the APA authors and an important one.  But trying to hook mental health professionals into the ideological trinity of ideas–

    *masculinity is the problem

    *males do not need nurturing in male-specific ways because men have it all in our society anyway; and

    *manhood is not an ontology, a way of healthy being, but a form of oppression,

    –ignores one of the primary reasons for the existence of our psychology profession—not just to help girls, women, and everyone on the gender spectrum be empowered and find themselves, but also to help boys and men find their strength, their purpose, and their success in what will be, for them, a complex male journey through an increasing difficult lifespan.

    References

    Michael Gurian, How do I Help Him: A Practitioner’s Guide for Working with Boys and Men in Therapeutic Settings (2011) https://www.michaelgurian.com/products/how-do-i-help-him/.

    Amen, D.G., et.al., “Women Have More Active Brains Than Men. August 7, 2017 Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease. https://www.j-alz.com/content/women-have-more-active-brains-men.

    Halpern, D.F., et.al., “The Science of Sex Differences in Science and Mathematics.”  Psychological Science in the Public Interest.  August 8, 2007.  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25530726.

    Michael Gurian, Saving Our Sons:  A New Path to Raising Healthy and Resilient Boys (2017).  https://www.michaelgurian.com/products/saving-our-sons/.

    Burman, D., et.al., “Sex Differences in Neural Processing of Language Among Children.” March 2007. Neuropsychologia, http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.neuropsychologia.2007.12.021.

    Benedict Carey, “Need Therapy:  A Good Man Is Hard to Find.”  New York Times.  May 21,2011.  https://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/health/22therapists.html.

    Guidelines for Psychological Practice With Boys and Men http://www.apa.org/about/policy/boys-men-practice-guidelines.pdf.

    Stephanie Pappas, “APA issues first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys.”  APA Monitor.  January 2019. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/ce-corner.aspx.

    For studies on Fathering, see the Coalition to Create a White House Council on Boys and Men’s meta-study, co-authored by W. Farrell., M. Gurian, M. Nemko, and P. Moore and 34 other scholars, updated, 2017, at http://whitehouseboysmen.org/the-proposal.

    *A version of the second part of this blog was published in The Federalist on 1/13/19.

  • We Need To Grieve – by Toko-pa

    As we enter the Full Moon in Pisces, maybe you can feel that subtle tug, a pulling away from the demands of extraversion, towards the inner life again.
    These last couple of weeks on the West Coast, living in the thick of wildfire smoke has been really difficult. Physically, obviously, but also emotionally. As we are deprived of clean air to breathe, and as our forests are burning down, it is bringing up so much conversation in our community about the “slow apocalypse” that is encroaching upon us.

    Whether by way of flooding, wildfire, scarcity, or social chaos, we are all being asked to face the destructive nature of our species.
    Yes, humans are astonishingly lovely and creative, but we also seem to be in a stunted adolescence of our evolution. We see the consequences of our behaviours, and yet we repeat them, as if narcoleptic; perpetually falling unconscious on a stark reality.
    We find ourselves wondering about the future we will need to endure. What are our priorities, when despair sets in? When our career status, our prestige, our troves of wealth become meaningless? Of what use can we be?
    Having given it a lot of thought, my priorities come down to 3 things. Wild water, seeds (& the ability to grow food), and a community upon which to rely when things get hard. As long as we have access to these things, we can hope to endure.

    Though I have always wrestled with the validity of my writing poetry in a time when there are so many battles to fight, I believe in my heart of hearts that we need every form of activism. Anything that is working to reconnect, rather than to disconnect us. We need the frontline fighters, we need the mothers, we need the farmers, we need the poets. And when I begin to feel despair about the insufficiency of our efforts, I remember that despair is what happens to us when we can’t grieve properly. It’s the grief that has no welcoming container, no place to express itself.

    I think we need to have more conversations in our families and communities about this threshold we’re on together.
    There is a driving force in us which wants to step in and make something useful of it all, turn it into fuel for transformation! But another, quieter voice says says stop. Don’t commodify this loss. Don’t be so hasty to write a new story, in which the events of heartbreak are made meaningful, before the magnitude of what’s been destroyed can be witnessed in its entirety.
    Yes, there will be a new world forming from the rubble. Yes, there is something valuable to take from this, I’m sure. But please, let us not turn this heartbreak into something useful just yet. If we do, we will be tempted to walk inour old ways. We will rely on tired words. We will make memes of ourselves.
    Is there a way instead to really bear witness? To let the fog of uncertainty obscure our clarity. To not know where or how we’ll live. To be fumbling and full of grief, because what we always counted on has been struck from our horizon. We may never be so magnificent again.

    I hope you have some good strategies for navigating the grief that you may feel. And if not, I recommend Martin Prechtel’s jewel of a book, The Smell of Rain on Dust, or listen to Clare Dubois and Joanna Macy speak on Grit, Grief and Grace.

    In the meantime, let us turn towards to the unknown in the hopes that what we find there will help us to learn how to walk in a new way, for a new world.

    Much love,
    Toko-pa

  • Abuse vs Honoring: Degrading Another Person’s Being is Never a Consensual Act

    Consent, even when properly understood and communicated, is never enough to establish a meaningful, trusting, healthy relationship. What exactly do I give you permission to do when I “consent”? I do not give you the right to use or abuse me. I do not sign myself over to you for whatever fantasies come across your mind and project upon my body, mind, heart, and soul. I do not offer myself as a giver to you as a taker. Healthy relationship requires mutual sovereignty, vulnerability, respect, learning, and a keen commitment to “learn into” another person’s energy without projecting one’s own assumptions or needs.

    In Chapter 6 of my newly released book, The Spiritually Confident Man, I talk about “Raising Men and Boys; Opening to Women and Girls.” In relations between the sexes and between adult and child, you do not see much in the way of mutual honoring. It’s as if we don’t know how, even if we’re intending to be respectful. How do I express myself to this different other in a way that is not simply imposing my will, but instead welcoming their will? How do I become truly co-creative? How do we work together in a dance where the innocence of the other is an invitations to my own joy and innocence rather than a signal to dominate or manipulate to meet some lack?

    This is virgin territory, quite literally and metaphorically. We largely don’t know how to consent to co-creation. We don’t know how to co-create. We have been taught in the language of contract—“I’ll scratch your back, then you have to scratch mine.” This is imposition, expectation, soft or hard coercion. This promotes brutishness, not beauty, predation, rather than appreciation. How can we come together to meaningfully discuss healthy consent and what it means to honor and co-create with another person?

    My wife and television journalist, Regina Meredith, recently interviewed a former seminarian with a M.Div. degree named Wieslaw Walawender. He is Polish by origin and committed his life to God, and was raped by his direct male supervisor on the cusp of his ordination. I will direct people to the interview to get the full story, but Wies’s words leapt out at me: “Why do they (abusers) do what they do?” Too many of us, horrified by the subject of sexual abuse unintentionally create a silence around the issue by representing abuse as twistedness or a confirming sign of evil meant to be exterminated or quarantined away from civilized people.

    Yet sexual abuse is epidemic. In the psychology class I teach on motivation and emotion, roughly a third of my students admit to being sexually abused, usually in the form of incest and usually from fathers, uncles, and grandfathers to young girls. Many told their mothers, only to be told to keep quiet. A 2013 Atlantic Monthly article by Mia Fontaine entitled, “American Has an Incest Problem” states that: “One in three-to-four girls, and one in five-to-seven boys are sexually abused before they turn 18, an overwhelming incidence of which happens within the family… and this is a notoriously underreported crime.”

    Fontaine goes on to say that the entire society would unravel is sexual abuse was actively investigated and prosecuted, as families would be split up, work disrupted, and society placed into a truthful but destabilizing turmoil. Perhaps this is why so many of the abused keep silent and others who suspect keep it far from their consciences. It’s ugly, ugly stuff. It is traumatic to think about, much less experience, yet each of us has a duty to think about it, discuss it, and advocate for the dignity of innocents abused, because the damage is overwhelming in terms of the spirit, mind, heart, and body of an individual and the very soul of the community they live within.

    What can we do about it?

    Walawender was somewhat pessimistic on the current approaches. He finds that psychotherapy does not work, and most programs are too “in the head” to reach the violence done to a person’s spirit by sexual abuse. Walawender himself was healed of his abuse by a Native American tribe, the Hualapai, who live on the rim of the Grand Canyon, through process that included prayer, chanting, incense, dancing, and even sleeping (without sex) with a virgin female to help heal, rebalance, realign and integrate his sexual orientation and foundational energies back into a state of health. The reverse is also true: Those whose orientations are LGBT as a matter of nature should not be bullied into pretending otherwise. The fundamental authentic state of a person’s sexual identity should not be abused, so that any person can grow into awareness and experience by their own choices and connections and not through some damaged reaction to someone else imposing their will and sexual identity upon him or her.

    There do seem to be some ways forward though:

    • Walawender spoke of arranging meeting whereby the perpetrator of a sexual crime sincerely admitted wrongdoing and asked for forgiveness.
    • We cannot all find a Native American shaman to realign our energies around abuse, but perhaps we could take the notion of sexual polarity seriously as I do in my book, The Spiritually Confident Man, so that we recognize and explore how distinct female and male energies can balance and inform each other as energies and not simply as gender roles and expectations.
    • We could explore the development of positive, healthy touch as an antidote to negative, using touch. I found that if I allow positive masculine giving energy to pour through my being, and sensuality and healing, rather than sexuality to be the point in massage, I was able to make advances in healing a female friend who had been sexually abused.
    • More exploration and research has to be done on what effects duration of abuse, when abuse happened in the development of a person, and when intervention occurred (that is, how long after abuse before silence was broken and healing attempted).
    • It is a scary notion that abuse can “implant” a desire contrary to your spirit or soul, kind of like a possession, without your say, even to the point of altering your sexual orientation, as it did with Mr. Walawender. So the notion of sovereignty comes up as a significant point of discussion, and as a way to challenge false New Age notions that we “choose” our abuse as a learning opportunity of to settle some karmic score.
    • We need a serious and open discussion on “consent” that embraces a piercing look at the knowledge and intention of people involved in “consent.” As I said in my book, the exact same act, putting one’s hands on another’s shoulders, could be congratulatory and welcome or predatory and unwelcome, simple with a micro-ounce extra of pressure communicating a covetous desire. “Consent” also has to be discussed from a psychospiritual and emotional level and not simply from a contractual level.
    • We need to openly discuss what being “gender fluid” means and where it comes from. Some who call themselves “gender fluid” are rejecting the straitjackets of conventional roles and expectations they feel to be oppressive to their genuinely diverse sexual orientation. Others, have learned to be “gender fluid” possibly from damage they experienced from abuse. This, I think was the case for the tragic pop star Whitney Houston, who had allegedly been sexually abused by her aunt, singer Dee Dee Warwick, as revealed in the recently released film, Whitney.
    • We must begin to understand sexual energy, not just an animal impulse, but a psychic energy involving deep bonding, feelings of pleasure, love, fear, and pain, as well as a spiritual one involving potently creative forces which mix primordial energy and identity.
    • We have to investigate and recognize the damage is not just of the physical sort and that a child cannot developmentally know enough about what themselves and what they are consenting too to give sexual consent. When an adult seeks to legitimate his or her sexual abuse of child through the notion of consent and mutual pleasure (“Hey, I’m not hurting them physically and they seem to like it; what’s wrong with that?”), two things need to come up: 1) The damage to this child is to this child’s emotional, psychic, and spiritual fields, not just to his or her body, and 2) children cannot give meaningful sexual consent with an adult because they are not developmentally aware of the consequences of such an alleged consent. That’s why pedophilia is illegal.
    • I think we need to admit to ourselves that we keep silent on incest and sexual abuse because we experience even the thought or discussion of it as traumatic, nausea-inducing, and low frequency. This should never be an excuse for us to leave our children and other victims unprotected. On the positive side, we need to build with young people, in particular, positive and healthy ways to exchange touch and aspiration that does not involve mindless sex and consumed, manipulated images of who we are and who we ought to be.
    • We need to call out predators for what they are, sick in the diseased sense of the word. Predators have fallen to a psychospiritual disease and addiction with devastating effects to all of whom it touches including the perpetrator. This disease, as a say in my book, is vampire-like in its expression, sucking the spiritual innocence and energy and vitality from a usually younger, uncertain person. The predator learns to substitute his or her will for another. This emphasis on the disease allows for a compassionate and firm response, vs. attempts to simply marginalize predators by calling them twisted, low-lifes.

    After hearing Wieslaw Walawender’s story, I was struck by how little success he had with experiencing or even imagining some constructive ways forward to dealing with the problem of sexual abuse from a positive, effective, and psychospiritual healing orientation.

  • Beauty, Light and Truth

    ‘We can’t be reminded enough of how much beauty there is all around us—we who are so often too rushed or numbed or worried to see it and to feel the ease that it brings, in beauty, the Invisible Embrace.’ –  John O’Donohue 

    “Beauty is made to seem naïve and romantic (but) much of the stress and emptiness that haunts us can be traced back to our lack of attention to beauty. The Beautiful offers us an invitation to order, coherence and unity… we feel most alive in it’s presence for it meets the needs of our soul.” – Susan Enrich

    Lyrics by INDIA ARIE  – “I Am Light”
    I am light, I am light [x4]
    I am not the things my family did
I am not the voices in my head
. I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside
    I am light, I am light [x4]
    I’m not the mistakes that I have made or any of the things that caused me pain. 
I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind
    I am light, I am light [x4]
    I am not the color of my eyes. 
I am not the skin on the outside
. I am not my age, I am not my race, my soul inside is all light
    All light, all light [x2]
I am light, I am light [x2]
    I am divinity defined
, I am the God on the inside
, I am a star, a piece of it all
, I am light

    “The vastness that is seen by the mind is not true,
    But the vastness of the mind that is seen, that is true…………..

    “Behind the field of efforts is a space of effortless silence. Any effort to be silent becomes merely a cloud passing. The silence is already inherent as the Self and a natural space of ‘Isness’ or pure Being – undisturbed and undisturbable as the True Self. You are here, it is our true place. Sometimes in front is the effort to become, but this is watched and watchable. When this is observed, don’t go with the pull towards thoughts, this is the habit of the mind. Stay as you are – silent and empty.

    There is no tension in the Self because there is no effort . If the feeling of effort is coming, that is OK. What is making effort? See if effort can be found. Don’t identify.

    There is a space within us where nothing changes, Because it is always present the changeful can be observed. You are the undisturbed Self.

    But the habit is to doubt this. Watch both the doubt and the habit without becoming involved. Remain in the natural state” [Silent, Still and Unchanging].

    Sri Mooji.

  • What’s Going On With Men – by Bethany Webster (Womboflight.com)

    What’s going on with men?

    With this massive wave of brave women coming forward with disclosures of sexual harassment across many industries, many of us, men and women alike, are grappling with the sobering reality of rampant misogyny. As a culture, we’re left to ask questions like, why do so many men have the impulse to disrespect, hate or violate women? Where does that really come from? And how do we stop it? 

    As an internationally recognized expert on the mother wound in women, I’m often asked to speak about the mother wound in men. At this time of mass disclosures about sexual assault, I wanted to write a piece exploring how the mother wound is the missing link in our understanding of misogyny. In this essay, I’ll examine how boys develop in the modern world, the unprocessed anger below the surface of the lives of men, the role of privilege and the inner work that both men and women can undertake to transform our situation.

    Oxford dictionary defines misogyny as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.”  To understand misogyny we have to explore the first relationship a man ever has with a woman; with his mother.

    For both girls and boys, the relationships with our mothers are one of the most significant relationship in our lives. It’s impossible to overstate just how foundational this relationship is and how it impacts our wellbeing well into our adulthood. In the first weeks and months of our lives, mother is food, mother is world, mother is body, and mother is self. For both women and men, the mother wound itself is a product of patriarchy, of living in a culture with domination of women at its core.

    “The mother-child relationship can be seen as the first relationship violated by patriarchy.“ ~Adrienne Rich 

    On a personal level, the mother wound is an internalized set of limiting beliefs and patterns originating from the relationship with one’s mother. The mother wound exists on a spectrum, with healthy, supportive mother/child relationships on one end and abusive traumatic mother/child relationships on the other end. Many complex factors go into how one’s mother wound manifests and where one falls on that spectrum. For men, it comes down to the specific dynamics that played out between a boy and his mother, as well as how the father supported or thwarted that primary connection. Because patriarchy—the  principle of domination—can be embodied by either a man or a woman, the mother or father may have played the role of patriarchal parent in a boy’s life. For example, some boys may have experienced their mothers as neglectful or as domineering. Some may have experienced their mothers as victims of their fathers or their mothers as the dominant one and their father the more passive one.

    “Patriarchy demands of men that they become and remain emotional cripples. Since it is a system that denies men full access to their freedom of will, it is difficult for any man of any class to rebel against patriarchy, to be disloyal to the patriarchal parent, be that parent female or male.”  ~ bell hooks

    As a boy grows today in the modern world, he becomes socialized by his father, by other men, and by society about what it means to be a man. The patriarchal culture of media, education and religion also perform that function. Unfortunately, it’s well-documented that this socialization of the boy involves to some degree learning to dominate others, to shut down his emotions and to devalue women. (See resources below.) This constitutes both a personal and collective trauma.

    Healing personal trauma is central to undoing the patriarchy

    Contrary to our modern world, the history of civilization is full of examples of cultures giving boys the initiatory experience of graduating into manhood through a time of physical trials, which helps them symbolically cross a psychological bridge from the relative comforts of childhood into the rigors of adulthood. In this positive context, surrounded by male elders, some kind of physical/emotional wound occurs, helping the boy contact his inner strength, confidence and sense of responsibility. Today in the modern world, most boys experience wounding but without a positive transformation. There are few official rites, few wise elders and a dearth of male role models outside the toxic status quo.

    The cultural expectation to devalue women, including his mother, sets a boy up for cognitive dissonance about what his mother represents in himself, including the ability to express his emotions, to be vulnerable, to express physical affection, etc. In this way, his mother could be seen broadly as a “lost source” to the boy, and the father, as socializer of the boy into the world of men, could be seen as “severer of the bond” with the mother, with his source.

    For white men, privilege plays a role. In addition to discouraging their emotions and encouraging domination, society gives them unearned advantages that are denied to other groups including women and people of color.  According to American sociologist, Professor Michael Kimmel, privilege is invisible to those who have it.  This leaves white men with a triple wound; an injury to their ability to process their emotions, a blindness about their privilege and a lack of empathy for those they harm. This triple wound in white men has remained relatively unconscious and has caused unspeakable suffering in the world.

    I came across this stunning 1977 quote by Adrienne Rich from her essay in the book “On Lies, Secrets and Silence” which speaks powerfully to the connection between misogyny and the mother wound in men: 

    “Much male fear of feminism is the fear that, in becoming whole human beings, women will cease to mother men, to provide the breast, the lullaby, the continuous attention associated by the infant with the mother. Much male fear of feminism is infantilism—the longing to remain a mother’s son, to possess a woman purely for him. These infantile needs of adult men for women have been sentimentalized and romanticized long enough as “love”; it is time to recognize them as arrested development, and to re-examine the ideal preservation of “the family” within which those needs are allowed free rein to the point of violence. Because the law and the economic and social order are heavily weighted in favor of men, the infantile needs of adult males are affirmed by a machinery of power, which does not affirm or validate the needs of adult women. Institutionalized marriage and motherhood perpetuate the will of male infants as law in the adult world.”

    What’s been happening with the #metoo movement, with women telling their stories of sexual assault and outing their abusers, is that the “free rein” that men have used to dominate women in the home and in the workplace is being increasingly curtailed. Women are less willing to remain the silent projection screen onto which men can project their disowned pain with impunity. And many male witnesses are no longer willing to look the other way.

    Assault as sexualized hostility

    Sexual assault is not about sex, it’s about power. Alexandra Katehakis, a sex therapist and Clinical Director for the Center for Healthy Sex in L.A. describes it this way: “Guys who engage in this type of behavior are incredibly rageful towards females. It often harkens back to childhood abuse. For example, maybe they had mothers who were emotionally abusive or who didn’t protect them from abusive fathers. As some men get older they act out that anger towards women in the language of sex. They sexualize their emotions because they don’t know any other way of comporting themselves.”

    It is as if the inner male child is unconsciously caught between his painful longing for the “lost source” represented by his mother and his cultural conditioning to hate her as a woman. Put another way, men are caught between a natural desire for their full humanity (the ability to be emotional, vulnerable and empathic) and their desire to remain privileged and in dominator mode. The thing is that one can’t have both. To hold on to dominator mode (patriarchy) is to increasingly lose access to your humanity. And to be fully human, one has to forsake the dominator mode, and all the insidious ways it can show up in oneself. No amount of privilege (wealth, power, fame, prestige) will ever compensate for the devastation, to whatever degree, that patriarchy has wrought on the little boy within him. No amount of power over others will ever make up for that lost part of himself. It can only be found through doing the inner work to reclaim it. 

    A man can find this “lost source,” not in the form of physical women, but in the form of exploring what it means to reclaim what the mother or the feminine represents within him, such as the feeling function, the world of emotions, the experience of deep connection within himself and a sense of authentic belonging with others. However, in order to access these vital capacities that have been in shadow, men first have to engage with the child within who is angry that there has been little payoff for forsaking these vital aspects of himself. 

    It’s easier to project rage onto a “mother substitute” or the “father substitute” out there in the world. Male privilege permits men a blindness to their mother and father wounds while the world burns. However, it takes courage to retract those projections and process the anger about the inner patriarch, the archetype of the cruel, unfeeling father, that granted him access to the world of men at the massive cost of disconnection from his true self, the innocent boy who came into this world capable of expressing empathy, emotionality, and vulnerability. The anger belongs with the patriarchal father (personal and/or collective), the “severer of the bond,” who betrayed the boy, who socialized him to give up a vital part of himself to be accepted in this world as a man. The anger also belongs with the mother who was unable to protect him from this patriarchal wound or who may have inflicted it herself. (See my article here about how patriarchy passes through the mother.) When men can direct their anger there, to where it truly belongs, things will really begin to shift.

    “Misogyny is a son’s outwardly projected rage on a mother who was unable to protect him.” 
    ~ Gabor Maté

    At its core, for men and women alike, the task of healing the mother wound is ultimately the same: to de-couple one’s inner and outer life from the lamination of “mother,” so that one’s full potential can be fully accessed and actualized.

    In his book “Under Saturn’s Shadow”, author and Jungian analyst, James Hollis brilliantly encapsulates it this way:

    “When we remember that patriarchy is a cultural contrivance, an invention to compensate for powerlessness, we realize that men, contrary to widespread opinions, are more often the more dependent sex. The Marlboro man, the rugged individualist, is most ambushed by his inner feminine, for he is most in denial. Whenever a man is obliged to be a good boy, or conversely he feels he must be a bad boy, or a wild man, he is still compensating for the power of the mother complex. 

    I do not say it is a man’s fault that he is so vulnerable, so dependent; that he is merely human. What is his responsibility is to recognize how deeply any child needs positive mothering and how much the pattern of that need sets his psychic life in motion and continues to operate beneath the surface. He may pretend to adult empowerment, hold the reigns of government or the purse, but the lines of stress reach deep down into his relationship with his mother. Men must grasp and accept this fact, and then take responsibility for it, or they will continue to play out infantile patterns forever.”

    Healing the mother wound for men involves removing their projected rage off of women and processing it towards its true target… with patriarchy itself and to the very specific traumatic events of their childhood in which that played out. 

    To do this deep inner work, it’s crucial that men get support from other men who have already done a significant amount of work on this journey themselves, including professional support from male therapists skilled in this area.

    Broadly speaking, men’s inner and outer work involves:

    1. Processing the anger about the parent (mother and/or father) who betrayed him by making him give up vital parts of himself in order to be considered a man in this world. Grieving about what that has cost him.
    2. Being honest about his life. Acknowledging his secrets and and taking responsibility for his actions.
    3. Finding that lost inner source within him and working to re-claim it. Connecting with the child within him.
    4. Feeling genuine remorse about the ways that he has harmed other people and the earth by acting out his pain in unconscious ways, both personally and collectively, while taking empathic actions on a consistent basis.
    5. Finding community with other conscious men who are on this path of reclamation and reconciliation.

    In the long-term, men must commit to the long-term inner work. And in the short-term, men need to experience real consequences for their actions.

    Shawn Vestal explains that it’s not for a lack of training that men sexually assault in the workplace. “It’s not about what men don’t know. It’s about what men have known too well: That we can get away with it. That it will be excused, hidden, justified and rationalized, and no one will be called to account.” In other words, until men have sufficient integrity to not sexually assault, real consequences must come into play at work and in relationships that halt the toxic behavior. Basically men need a global intervention, a resounding, societal “no” to wake up to the realities they’ve been oblivious to.

    To support this process, as women we have to say no in every way possible to the raging boy within the men in our lives, be they friends, colleagues, brothers or husbands. Back to Rich’s quote, women have to withdraw from the ways that we have over-functioned or mothered men. We have to “withdraw the breast, the lullaby and the constant attention associated by the infant with the mother.” That way, men can feel the full magnitude of their predicament, which is the beginning of lasting, meaningful change.

    Only by men feeling the painful gap of what women are no longer willing to do for them, will they experience sufficient motivation to finally step in and fill that gap from within themselves, which includes increasingly: 

    • Taking responsibility for their emotions, feeling them and processing them. Getting support.
    • Having sex as a way to connect, not a way to feel powerful
    • Soothing the little boy within him when he’s triggered
    • Differentiating between the pain of the past from what’s happening in the present
    • Becoming aware of his projections and seeing the women in their lives as people, not as objects
    • Centering and amplifying the voices of those who are marginalized, while listening and learning from them

    As women we must keep using our voices and speaking out about male abuse of power every chance we get and amplify the voices of other women who are enduring male abuse, particularly the voices of women of color and indigenous women.

    As women we must stop:

    • Catering to their illusions that come from an ignorance of their own privilege
    • Staying quiet to avoid conflict
    • Internalizing their projections from their disowned pain
    • Minimizing our feelings in their presence
    • Accepting crumbs of respect instead of what we truly deserve
    • Giving our power away in the form of emotional caretaking
    • Giving time and energy to men who refuse to do their inner work

    The truth is that women are very limited in how they can help men in their healing. We can hold space but we can’t do the work for them. It is their journey and they have to want it for themselves. In the meantime, let’s expand our awareness of our value outside the male gaze, prioritize our own inner work, and heal our own childhood wounds. Let’s hold strong boundaries with those who are not doing their inner work and spend more time with those who are. True sisterhood is a crucial source of nourishment for these times.

    Harnessing our anger as fuel for wise action

    The more we contact the truth of our worth as women, the more rage we will feel about the devastation toxic masculinity has caused. Our anger is an essential tool in this time, to sharpen our refusal to be compliant with oppression of any kind, including internalized misogyny directed at ourselves, and for white women, a refusal to be patriarchal to others, and specifically facing how we have facilitated the oppression of men and women of color.

    “One oppresses what one fears.” ~ James Hollis

    Healing from patriarchy requires that every privileged group actively confront their ignorance and cultivate sincere empathy for how their privilege has caused harm to others.

    Allowing oneself be emotionally affected by the depths of horrors that have been perpetrated by our privilege is a necessary but often avoided step in creating real equality between people. Just as white women need to endure the experience of feeling genuinely horrified about the ways in which we have, knowingly or unknowingly, facilitated white supremacy onto people of color, white men have to do the same about how their ignorance, afforded by privilege, has collectively caused an unspeakable amount of pain in the world to women, people of color and the planet itself.

    “The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” ~ James Baldwin

    May this ever-rising tide of female anger be followed by a commensurate wave of brave men willing to explore their inner terrain, to embrace the abandoned boy within and to process the legitimate anger and grief about what patriarchy has stolen from them: their full humanity. Collective change will occur when enough individual men change.  May men take full responsibility and humbly embrace this raw, necessary discomfort as the medicine they need to heal their personal and collective mother wound. And may women refuse to allow the behavior of unconscious men to define them.

    © Bethany Webster 2018

  • What’s Going on With Men? The Mother Wound as the Missing Link in Understanding Misogyny

    What’s Going on With Men? The Mother Wound as the Missing Link in Understanding Misogyny

    by BethanyWebster

    What’s going on with men?

    With this massive wave of brave women coming forward with disclosures of sexual harassment across many industries, many of us, men and women alike, are grappling with the sobering reality of rampant misogyny. As a culture, we’re left to ask questions like, why do so many men have the impulse to disrespect, hate or violate women? Where does that really come from? And how do we stop it? 

    As an internationally recognized expert on the mother wound in women, I’m often asked to speak about the mother wound in men. At this time of mass disclosures about sexual assault, I wanted to write a piece exploring how the mother wound is the missing link in our understanding of misogyny. In this essay, I’ll examine how boys develop in the modern world, the unprocessed anger below the surface of the lives of men, the role of privilege and the inner work that both men and women can undertake to transform our situation.

    Oxford dictionary defines misogyny as “dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.”  To understand misogyny we have to explore the first relationship a man ever has with a woman; with his mother.

    For both girls and boys, the relationships with our mothers are one of the most significant relationship in our lives. It’s impossible to overstate just how foundational this relationship is and how it impacts our wellbeing well into our adulthood. In the first weeks and months of our lives, mother is food, mother is world, mother is body, and mother is self. For both women and men, the mother wound itself is a product of patriarchy, of living in a culture with domination of women at its core.

    “The mother-child relationship can be seen as the first relationship violated by patriarchy.“ ~Adrienne Rich 

    On a personal level, the mother wound is an internalized set of limiting beliefs and patterns originating from the relationship with one’s mother. The mother wound exists on a spectrum, with healthy, supportive mother/child relationships on one end and abusive traumatic mother/child relationships on the other end. Many complex factors go into how one’s mother wound manifests and where one falls on that spectrum. For men, it comes down to the specific dynamics that played out between a boy and his mother, as well as how the father supported or thwarted that primary connection. Because patriarchy—the  principle of domination—can be embodied by either a man or a woman, the mother or father may have played the role of patriarchal parent in a boy’s life. For example, some boys may have experienced their mothers as neglectful or as domineering. Some may have experienced their mothers as victims of their fathers or their mothers as the dominant one and their father the more passive one.

    “Patriarchy demands of men that they become and remain emotional cripples. Since it is a system that denies men full access to their freedom of will, it is difficult for any man of any class to rebel against patriarchy, to be disloyal to the patriarchal parent, be that parent female or male.”  ~ bell hooks

    As a boy grows today in the modern world, he becomes socialized by his father, by other men, and by society about what it means to be a man. The patriarchal culture of media, education and religion also perform that function. Unfortunately, it’s well-documented that this socialization of the boy involves to some degree learning to dominate others, to shut down his emotions and to devalue women.  This constitutes both a personal and collective trauma.

    Healing personal trauma is central to undoing the patriarchy

    Contrary to our modern world, the history of civilization is full of examples of cultures giving boys the initiatory experience of graduating into manhood through a time of physical trials, which helps them symbolically cross a psychological bridge from the relative comforts of childhood into the rigors of adulthood. In this positive context, surrounded by male elders, some kind of physical/emotional wound occurs, helping the boy contact his inner strength, confidence and sense of responsibility. Today in the modern world, most boys experience wounding but without a positive transformation. There are few official rites, few wise elders and a dearth of male role models outside the toxic status quo.

    The cultural expectation to devalue women, including his mother, sets a boy up for cognitive dissonance about what his mother represents in himself, including the ability to express his emotions, to be vulnerable, to express physical affection, etc. In this way, his mother could be seen broadly as a “lost source” to the boy, and the father, as socializer of the boy into the world of men, could be seen as “severer of the bond” with the mother, with his source.

    For white men, privilege plays a role. In addition to discouraging their emotions and encouraging domination, society gives them unearned advantages that are denied to other groups including women and people of color.  According to American sociologist, Professor Michael Kimmel, privilege is invisible to those who have it.  This leaves white men with a triple wound; an injury to their ability to process their emotions, a blindness about their privilege and a lack of empathy for those they harm. This triple wound in white men has remained relatively unconscious and has caused unspeakable suffering in the world.

    I came across this stunning 1977 quote by Adrienne Rich from her essay in the book “On Lies, Secrets and Silence” which speaks powerfully to the connection between misogyny and the mother wound in men: 

    “Much male fear of feminism is the fear that, in becoming whole human beings, women will cease to mother men, to provide the breast, the lullaby, the continuous attention associated by the infant with the mother. Much male fear of feminism is infantilism—the longing to remain a mother’s son, to possess a woman purely for him. These infantile needs of adult men for women have been sentimentalized and romanticized long enough as “love”; it is time to recognize them as arrested development, and to re-examine the ideal preservation of “the family” within which those needs are allowed free rein to the point of violence. Because the law and the economic and social order are heavily weighted in favor of men, the infantile needs of adult males are affirmed by a machinery of power, which does not affirm or validate the needs of adult women. Institutionalized marriage and motherhood perpetuate the will of male infants as law in the adult world.”

    What’s been happening with the #metoo movement, with women telling their stories of sexual assault and outing their abusers, is that the “free rein” that men have used to dominate women in the home and in the workplace is being increasingly curtailed. Women are less willing to remain the silent projection screen onto which men can project their disowned pain with impunity. And many male witnesses are no longer willing to look the other way.

    Assault as sexualized hostility

    Sexual assault is not about sex, it’s about power. Alexandra Katehakis, a sex therapist and Clinical Director for the Center for Healthy Sex in L.A. describes it this way: “Guys who engage in this type of behavior are incredibly rageful towards females. It often harkens back to childhood abuse. For example, maybe they had mothers who were emotionally abusive or who didn’t protect them from abusive fathers. As some men get older they act out that anger towards women in the language of sex. They sexualize their emotions because they don’t know any other way of comporting themselves.”

    It is as if the inner male child is unconsciously caught between his painful longing for the “lost source” represented by his mother and his cultural conditioning to hate her as a woman. Put another way, men are caught between a natural desire for their full humanity (the ability to be emotional, vulnerable and empathic) and their desire to remain privileged and in dominator mode. The thing is that one can’t have both. To hold on to dominator mode (patriarchy) is to increasingly lose access to your humanity. And to be fully human, one has to forsake the dominator mode, and all the insidious ways it can show up in oneself. No amount of privilege (wealth, power, fame, prestige) will ever compensate for the devastation, to whatever degree, that patriarchy has wrought on the little boy within him. No amount of power over others will ever make up for that lost part of himself. It can only be found through doing the inner work to reclaim it. 

    A man can find this “lost source,” not in the form of physical women, but in the form of exploring what it means to reclaim what the mother or the feminine represents within him, such as the feeling function, the world of emotions, the experience of deep connection within himself and a sense of authentic belonging with others. However, in order to access these vital capacities that have been in shadow, men first have to engage with the child within who is angry that there has been little payoff for forsaking these vital aspects of himself. 
     
    It’s easier to project rage onto a “mother substitute” or the “father substitute” out there in the world. Male privilege permits men a blindness to their mother and father wounds while the world burns. However, it takes courage to retract those projections and process the anger about the inner patriarch, the archetype of the cruel, unfeeling father, that granted him access to the world of men at the massive cost of disconnection from his true self, the innocent boy who came into this world capable of expressing empathy, emotionality, and vulnerability. The anger belongs with the patriarchal father (personal and/or collective), the “severer of the bond,” who betrayed the boy, who socialized him to give up a vital part of himself to be accepted in this world as a man. The anger also belongs with the mother who was unable to protect him from this patriarchal wound or who may have inflicted it herself. (See my article here about how patriarchy passes through the mother.) When men can direct their anger there, to where it truly belongs, things will really begin to shift.

    “Misogyny is a son’s outwardly projected rage on a mother who was unable to protect him.” 
    ~ Gabor Maté

    At its core, for men and women alike, the task of healing the mother wound is ultimately the same: to de-couple one’s inner and outer life from the lamination of “mother,” so that one’s full potential can be fully accessed and actualized.

    In his book “Under Saturn’s Shadow”, author and Jungian analyst, James Hollis brilliantly encapsulates it this way:

    “When we remember that patriarchy is a cultural contrivance, an invention to compensate for powerlessness, we realize that men, contrary to widespread opinions, are more often the more dependent sex. The Marlboro man, the rugged individualist, is most ambushed by his inner feminine, for he is most in denial. Whenever a man is obliged to be a good boy, or conversely he feels he must be a bad boy, or a wild man, he is still compensating for the power of the mother complex. 

    I do not say it is a man’s fault that he is so vulnerable, so dependent; that he is merely human. What is his responsibility is to recognize how deeply any child needs positive mothering and how much the pattern of that need sets his psychic life in motion and continues to operate beneath the surface. He may pretend to adult empowerment, hold the reigns of government or the purse, but the lines of stress reach deep down into his relationship with his mother. Men must grasp and accept this fact, and then take responsibility for it, or they will continue to play out infantile patterns forever.”

    Healing the mother wound for men involves removing their projected rage off of women and processing it towards its true target… with patriarchy itself and to the very specific traumatic events of their childhood in which that played out. 

    To do this deep inner work, it’s crucial that men get support from other men who have already done a significant amount of work on this journey themselves, including professional support from male therapists skilled in this area.

    Broadly speaking, men’s inner and outer work involves:

    1. Processing the anger about the parent (mother and/or father) who betrayed him by making him give up vital parts of himself in order to be considered a man in this world. Grieving about what that has cost him.
    2. Being honest about his life. Acknowledging his secrets and taking responsibility for his actions.
    3. Finding that lost inner source within him and working to re-claim it. Connecting with the child within him.
    4. Feeling genuine remorse about the ways that he has harmed other people and the earth by acting out his pain in unconscious ways, both personally and collectively, while taking empathic actions on a consistent basis.
    5. Finding community with other conscious men who are on this path of reclamation and reconciliation.

    In the long-term, men must commit to the long-term inner work. And in the short-term, men need to experience real consequences for their actions.

    Shawn Vestal explains that it’s not for a lack of training that men sexually assault in the workplace. “It’s not about what men don’t know. It’s about what men have known too well: That we can get away with it. That it will be excused, hidden, justified and rationalized, and no one will be called to account.” In other words, until men have sufficient integrity to not sexually assault, real consequences must come into play at work and in relationships that halt the toxic behavior. Basically men need a global intervention, a resounding, societal “no” to wake up to the realities they’ve been oblivious to.

    To support this process, as women we have to say no in every way possible to the raging boy within the men in our lives, be they friends, colleagues, brothers or husbands. Back to Rich’s quote, women have to withdraw from the ways that we have over-functioned or mothered men. We have to “withdraw the breast, the lullaby and the constant attention associated by the infant with the mother.” That way, men can feel the full magnitude of their predicament, which is the beginning of lasting, meaningful change.

    Only by men feeling the painful gap of what women are no longer willing to do for them, will they experience sufficient motivation to finally step in and fill that gap from within themselves, which includes increasingly: 

    • Taking responsibility for their emotions, feeling them and processing them. Getting support.
    • Having sex as a way to connect, not a way to feel powerful
    • Soothing the little boy within him when he’s triggered
    • Differentiating between the pain of the past from what’s happening in the present
    • Becoming aware of his projections and seeing the women in their lives as people, not as objects
    • Centering and amplifying the voices of those who are marginalized, while listening and learning from them

    As women we must keep using our voices and speaking out about male abuse of power every chance we get and amplify the voices of other women who are enduring male abuse, particularly the voices of women of color and indigenous women.

    As women we must stop:

    • Catering to their illusions that come from an ignorance of their own privilege
    • Staying quiet to avoid conflict
    • Internalizing their projections from their disowned pain
    • Minimizing our feelings in their presence
    • Accepting crumbs of respect instead of what we truly deserve
    • Giving our power away in the form of emotional caretaking
    • Giving time and energy to men who refuse to do their inner work

    The truth is that women are very limited in how they can help men in their healing. We can hold space but we can’t do the work for them. It is their journey and they have to want it for themselves. In the meantime, let’s expand our awareness of our value outside the male gaze, prioritize our own inner work, and heal our own childhood wounds. Let’s hold strong boundaries with those who are not doing their inner work and spend more time with those who are. True sisterhood is a crucial source of nourishment for these times.

    Harnessing our anger as fuel for wise action

    The more we contact the truth of our worth as women, the more rage we will feel about the devastation toxic masculinity has caused. Our anger is an essential tool in this time, to sharpen our refusal to be compliant with oppression of any kind, including internalized misogyny directed at ourselves, and for white women, a refusal to be patriarchal to others, and specifically facing how we have facilitated the oppression of men and women of color.

    “One oppresses what one fears.” ~ James Hollis

    Healing from patriarchy requires that every privileged group actively confront their ignorance and cultivate sincere empathy for how their privilege has caused harm to others.

    Allowing oneself be emotionally affected by the depths of horrors that have been perpetrated by our privilege is a necessary but often avoided step in creating real equality between people. Just as white women need to endure the experience of feeling genuinely horrified about the ways in which we have, knowingly or unknowingly, facilitated white supremacy onto people of color, white men have to do the same about how their ignorance, afforded by privilege, has collectively caused an unspeakable amount of pain in the world to women, people of color and the planet itself.
    “The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” ~ James Baldwin

    May this ever-rising tide of female anger be followed by a commensurate wave of brave men willing to explore their inner terrain, to embrace the abandoned boy within and to process the legitimate anger and grief about what patriarchy has stolen from them: their full humanity. Collective change will occur when enough individual men change.  May men take full responsibility and humbly embrace this raw, necessary discomfort as the medicine they need to heal their personal and collective mother wound. And may women refuse to allow the behavior of unconscious men to define them.

    © Bethany Webster 2017

  • Building a Peaceful Economy – by Judy Wicks

    When attending meetings with peace and justice activists, I often find myself the only business person in the room. Inevitably, someone makes a comment about the evils of business, or greedy capitalists, or some other negative comment that implies business people are the enemy.

    I couldn’t agree more about the harm done by profit-driven multinational corporations, but what about businesspeople like me who are working to build a new economy, one that is more just and sustainable?

    Because they view all business in a negative light, many activists don’t seem to think it matters where they spend their money. This experience showed me the wide gap that exists between the peace and justice movement and the local economy movement. Just think how much more powerful we would be in changing the world for the better if we worked together to build a peace economy.

    Our Economic Choices Have Consequences

    Most economic transactions we make in our daily lives ultimately contribute toward building a peace economy or a war economy, a world of compassion and well being, or a world of indifference and violence. Have you ever imagined that we consumers have such power? Likely not.

    Materialism teaches us simply to spend without thinking. But there are consequences to our everyday economic decisions that cumulatively build an economic system that has tremendous impact on other people, and our entire planet.

    Materialism and militarism are closely related. Along with racism they form the giant triple evils that Dr. King called upon us to defeat. Each of the three leads us toward cruelty and war, and each depends on a complacent citizenry. By becoming informed about the impact of our decisions and learning to use our economic power mindfully we have the ability to co-create an economy that works for all and bring into being the world we want to live in—one that is healthy, just and peaceful.

    Protecting Corporate Interests

    Since the rise of colonialism, the global economy has been built on exploitation of indigenous populations and their natural resources, and continues today under the guise of economic development. Profit-driven transnational corporations with a grow-or-die mandate have an ever-expanding need for more and more natural resources, cheap labor and new markets in which to sell their products. As nation-states have done throughout history, the U.S. government deploys our military, or its surrogates, to ensure access for U.S. corporations, whether it’s oil in the Middle East, cheap labor in Central America or new markets in Asia.

    “The hidden hand of the market will never work without a hidden fist,” quipped Thomas Friedman. “McDonald’s cannot flourish without McDonnell Douglas, the builder of the F-15.”

    Not only do they use the fist of the military to protect their interests, these powerful corporations also wield alarming control over most important aspects of our daily lives: the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the news we hear, and even the government we rely on to protect the interests of its citizens.

    Where does corporate power come from? We consumers hand it over when we purchase their products, deposit our money in their banks and invest in them through the stock market. It would be one thing if these corporations had our best interests in mind, but they too often make decisions to increase short-term profits, with little regard for the long-term impact on people and planet.

    Numbed by pervasive advertising that equates happiness with consumption, citizens are often oblivious to the harm being done by our corporate-controlled global economic system. Meanwhile, we are losing our freedom to corporate control, creating the conditions for continuous war and the destruction of the natural systems that support life on Earth.

    Another Economy Is Possible

    There is an alternative to corporate domination and the violence and ruin it brings. By building a new global economy in which every community has food and water security and locally produced renewable energy, we can create the foundation for world peace. The British economist and author of Small Is Beautiful, E. F. Schumacher, puts it simply: “People who live in highly self-sufficient local communities are less likely to get involved in large-scale violence than people whose existence depends on world-wide systems of trade.”

    Don’t be overwhelmed by the enormity of rebuilding our global economy. Begin at home in your own community. Working together, local entrepreneurs, conscientious consumers and local governments can build regional economies that produce food, clothing, building materials, renewable energy and other supplies locally, using fair and sustainable practices.

    Decreasing our dependency on corporations increases opportunities for local ownership and meaningful job creation. Locally owned businesses hire local workers and purchase their supplies and services from other local businesses to produce the products needed by their communities.

    Excess production can be exported to other communities and products not available locally can be imported through fair trade relationships that provide a living wage in the communities where the products originated.

    We can develop products unique to our region for exchange in the global marketplace, be it a fashion design, fine wine or cheese, works of art and music, or an entrepreneurial innovation. In this way, we can connect to other local economies through win-win economic exchange, and gradually build a new global economy; one that is a network of sustainable and just local economies.

    The Localism Movement

    Over the past 15 years, the modern-day local economy movement has grown and strengthened. It is supported by nationwide organizations, but primarily catalyzed by countless local efforts dedicated to building regional food systems and supporting local manufacturers and retailers.

    Maybe there is an effort underway in your own community that you could help support. “Think Local First” campaigns encourage citizens to buy first from local businesses, which keeps money circulating within local economies rather than be siphoned off by a corporation, which is what happens when you shop at chain stores. Shopping local is even more impactful when local retailers sell products that are grown or manufactured locally.

    Consumers can become producers by leaving corporate jobs and starting businesses needed by our communities and by making products to sell or use at home in the growing do-it-yourself and makers movements. Decentralizing business ownership moves economic power from distant boardrooms to our own communities, increasing community wealth and strengthening our democracy.

    Climate change adds urgency to the need for a local economy movement. Environmentally sustainable local production of our basic needs reduces the amount of carbon from shipping that is contributing to climate change. It also prepares our communities for the consequences of climate disruption, so that we are not reliant on supply chains that can be affected by extreme weather, social instability, rising fuel costs, and fluctuating prices in the global marketplace.

    The localism movement is not only a peace movement, it is also a pro-democracy movement. Though U.S. citizens fear centralized state control, we often neglect to see that centralized corporate power is the other side of the same coin. Today, the collusion of corporate and state power threatens our democracy. Lobbying and unbridled campaign finance by corporations and the very wealthy has resulted in policies that support corporate control. Getting money out of politics is crucial to saving our democracy.

    Ultimately, the localist movement seeks to build a global system of human-scale, interconnected local economies that support just and democratic societies and meet the basic needs of all the world’s people while protecting and restoring the local ecosystems on which our lives depend.

    The Role of Fair Trade

    When goods are not available locally, such as coffee, tea, spices, sugar, or bananas, fair trade importers offer local retailers the opportunity to stock their shelves with products that are certified fair trade to insure that workers make a living wage in the communities where products originate. Some of the most egregious violations of workers’ rights, including modern-day slavery and child labor, take place in developing countries where U.S. corporations seek low-cost production of food and textiles. The chocolate industry, for instance, is notorious for using slaves to grow cocoa beans in Africa.

    Local Energy Security

    Oil is the life-blood of corporate globalization. It is important for both environmental reasons and equality to wean ourselves off using fossil fuels to power our homes and vehicles, and to build energy security based on locally produced renewables such as solar and wind. Reputable scientists now all agree that burning fossil fuels, mainly coal, oil and natural gas, is the root cause of climate change.

    Sources for oil and gas are no longer easily accessible. More drastic and dangerous methods of extraction are being used such as deep-sea oil drilling and fracking for natural gas. Increasing numbers of oil spills are devastating coastal populations from the tropics to the arctic, killing untold numbers of birds, fish and other sea life and disrupting natural systems.

    Fracking for natural gas has poisoned local aquifers in mostly poor, rural communities and disrupted life with loud equipment and heavy trucks on country roads. To protect the most vulnerable and to keep the planet viable for future generations, we must all work to break our addiction to oil and gas and move to a low-carbon lifestyle. In most states, there is the option to switch electric providers to buy from renewable sources such as wind, solar, hydro and biomass, rather than coal, gas, oil and nuclear. No matter how the electricity is generated, the electrons are mixed together in the grid and delivered through the wires of the local electric utility company, so no rewiring is needed.

    Another option is rooftop solar installations. These supply renewable electricity directly to a household rather than through the grid. There are programs available in many communities to partially or fully fund the installation of solar panels through grants or loans. Solar installations pay for themselves over time. After paying off loans for the installation, households can actually make money by selling excess solar-produced electricity to the grid to be used elsewhere.

    Phasing out natural gas and oil and relying totally on sustainably produced electricity to heat, cool and run our households and vehicles is the path to a planet-saving lifestyle. Additionally, when we stop buying oil, gas and coal, we are shifting economic power from concentrated wealth to broadly distributed wealth and power. “Green power to the people” has two meanings!

    The first step toward energy savings is to make sure our homes are well insulated and that doors and windows are not drafty. Having an energy audit is a good first step. In many communities, there are services for low-income communities to provide assistance in weatherizing homes and increasing energy efficiency.

    Slowing down and changing our means of transportation is another important way to gain energy security and address climate change. Using public transportation, biking, walking or driving an electric car run on renewably generated electricity, as well as limiting or ending air travel, are important ways to eliminate carbons.

    As Pope Francis points out, climate change is most harmful to the world’s poor and disproportionately to people of color. Many populations which rely directly on farming and fishing are seeing their livelihoods be disrupted by droughts, storms and new climate-induced infestations of destructive insects and disease.

    The disaster in New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina is a good example. Without the resources to move from areas of rising sea levels and flooding rivers and rebuild after increasingly extreme and destructive weather patterns, the world’s poor are bearing the brunt of catastrophic climate change.

    Local Food Security

    Across the globe, farmland is being confiscated from indigenous farmers by corporations who impose an industrial system of monocrops, chemical fertilizers, toxic pesticides and hideously cruel animal factories that destroy rural communities, degrade the soil, and pollute the air and water. Food bred for long shelf life on these industrial farms is less flavorful and nutritious than locally and sustainably raised fruits and vegetables grown for immediate consumption. Meat and poultry from animal factories contain unhealthy drugs and hormones and come from animals who endure unspeakable deprivation and pain.

    Developing a sustainable regional food system is vital to taking economic control of our daily lives. The local food movement is gaining strength in the effort to decentralize our food system so that small, diversified farmers, who are proper stewards of the land and farm animals, feed their local communities. A growing number of communities now have access to local farm markets and stores that offer fruits, vegetables, and humanely produced meat, dairy and eggs from local farms.

    The consumer’s role is crucial in this effort to build regional food security. Rather than buying food from chain stores and restaurants, it is important to spend our dollars at farmers’ markets and locally owned stores and restaurants supplied by local farms whenever possible so that the local farms and food enterprises can increase their capacity.

    In many communities, CSAs—Community Supported Agriculture—are available. These are programs where households invest in farms in the springtime and receive a box of fruit and vegetable every week during the growing season. Food cooperatives owned by consumers provide lower-cost groceries and usually include local produce and fair trade products.

    Consumers are also becoming food producers. In urban areas, food is grown in containers and raised beds, on rooftops and in community gardens where land is shared among multiple households. In the suburbs, lawns are being transformed into gardens.

    Economically viable urban farms use raised-beds and hydroponics on once vacant land—often brownfields contaminated by former industry—to feed a neighborhood and supply local restaurants and stores. This also provides job opportunities to inner city residents. Consumers are becoming entrepreneurs, starting small food enterprises that turn local produce into pickles, sauces, soups, jams and jellies, canned fruits and vegetables, energy bars, and many other products that can be consumed year-round. Milk from local grassfed cows, sheep and goats is being used to make cheese, yogurt and ice cream.

    Local Water Security

    Struggles over control of clean water are increasing across the globe. Because of pollution and misuse, as well as increasing droughts, clean water is becoming scarce in many places and is expected to someday be more valuable than oil. In many communities there are battles over who controls the water: a corporation or the public. Of course, when corporations gain control, the cost of water to citizens goes up to increase corporate profits rather than sustain a public utility.

    In some communities, aquifers that supply local drinking water are being drained by bottled water and soda companies or by corporations to irrigate mega-farms or cool nuclear reactors. In the U.S., tap water is regulated and inspected by local government, while bottled water is not. Studies have found tap water to contain fewer contaminants than bottled water.

    Citizens can help by joining local fights to preserve public ownership of water. But on a daily basis we can all make a difference by using tap water in reusable bottles rather than buying bottled water or sodas. Bottled water and soda not only increase the waste of plastic and aluminum containers and burn carbons by shipping liquids long distances, but they also increase corporate control of water.

    The soda industry is immensely profitable to corporations while providing an unhealthy and in some cases addictive product to consumers, adding to the epidemics of obesity, diabetes and heart disease.

    Sustainable Clothing

    The fashion industry is one of the world’s worst polluters due to the use of toxic dyes and fabrics produced with extensive use of pesticides. The industry is also known for sweatshops and egregious labor practices. Shopping at locally owned boutiques that carry locally made and sustainable clothing is ideal. For communities that don’t have such boutiques there are some responsible manufacturers who sell fair trade, sustainably produced fashion nationwide.

    Clothing swaps and shopping at thrift stores for pre-owned clothing is not only less expensive but better for the environment. Wearing homemade and thrift shop clothing is a fashion statement admired among localists and environmentalists. Americans recycle only 15% of our used clothing and toss 10.5 million tons into the landfill, yet we continue to buy more and more clothing. Let’s start by buying less and save our money to buy locally and sustainably made.

    Banking and Investing

    When we invest in local businesses, we get not only a financial return, but also a living return: the benefit of living in a more sustainable and healthy community. When we invest in the stock market, we are perpetuating a system driven by profit that is increasing inequality and environmental destruction.

    Publicly traded mega banks have enormous power, draining capital from local communities that could be invested locally. Banking through local banks and credit unions strengthens local borrowing power and keeps banking profits local. Some communities have community reinvestment funds that provide a vehicle for local investment in small businesses, affordable housing, wind turbines and other community needs.

    In recent years, crowdsourcing through online vehicles such as Kiva Zip have allowed for investments as small as $5 to support small local businesses. A growing number of local investment clubs have provided a vehicle for community members to invest collectively in local businesses through loans or capital investments with risk shared by the group.

    Reduce, Reuse, recycle

    Consumerism encourages us to buy things we don’t need. One of the first steps in living sustainably is to buy less. Think twice before making a purchase to determine if it is necessary.

    The next most important step is to reuse products multiple times. For instance, wood harvested from demolition sites can be reused in new construction and renovations. Similarly, textiles can be reused to make new clothing, slipcovers or curtains.

    When we must throw something away, it’s important to recycle as much as possible. Most communities have programs to recycle paper, aluminum, plastic, and even electronics. It’s important to sort these materials carefully and put them out for pick up.

    Composting fruit and vegetable food waste is an important part of the food cycle, which returns nutrients to the soil. Putting food waste into plastic trash bags destined for the landfill is a waste of this valuable resource. Many communities have compost pickup and it is also possible to do one’s own composting for use in home gardens.

    A Revolution of Values

    In 1967, when Dr. King expressed concern about the triple evils of materialism, militarism and racism, he suggested that we need a “revolution of values” to defeat them.

    In our society, we continue to measure success in both business and in our individual careers largely by money and accumulation of material possessions. To build a peace economy, we must change our measurement of success to value life above money. Localists measure success not by continual material growth, but by the growth of healthy communities and ecosystems.

    When we make economic decisions, rather than focusing on getting the cheapest price when we buy, the highest price when we sell, or the largest return on our investments, we must ask ourselves how those decisions will ultimately effect what we care about most—our communities, our natural world, our democracy, our children’s future.

    In the business world, measuring success not simply by profits, but by the impact a business has on the lives of people and nature is often referred to as the triple bottom line of people, planet and profit. Rather than maximizing profits, triple-bottom-line businesses maximize relationships with all the stakeholders – employees, customers, suppliers, community members and the natural world.

    Localism is moving our economy from a competitive mindset to a cooperative one, from measuring success by how much we have to how much we share, and from a feeling of loneliness and despair to the joy of community. Ultimately, we are moving from “me to we” by embracing a worldview of interconnection and love rather than one of separation and fear.

    Co-ops

    An important vehicle for cooperation and sharing are cooperatively owned businesses, which include worker cooperatives that are often manufacturing businesses, consumer cooperatives typical of food co-ops, and producer cooperatives such as farmer or artisan cooperatives.

    Land ownership is a crucial issue in building a new economy and cooperatively owned land or community land trusts provide a means for people to own farms or housing when they cannot afford the cost of land. Some cities are forming land banks to provide land for small businesses and affordable housing. Also rural and suburban areas are offering land preserved for open space to young farmers who cannot afford the high cost of buying farmland.

    Natural resources such as clean air and water are part of the commons that we must protect by enforcing existing environmental laws too often disregarded by powerful corporations. The cultural commons includes publicly owned art and cultural sights that are part of our common heritage and must also be protected from profiteering.

    Adopting Gandhi’s Strategy

    The strategy Gandhi used in his nonviolent revolution to overthrow British tyranny is a good one for overthrowing corporate tyranny in today’s world. The conditions are similar. When India was colonized by the British, all the fields were planted with cash crops for export. As a result, the Indian people lost their food security and millions starved to death.

    Gandhi told the people of India to plant community gardens so that villages could feed themselves. He also suggested they spin their own textiles. Rather than ship the Indian-grown flax and cotton off to London to be made into clothing and then shipped back for the Indian people to buy, they could make their own clothing within their local economy.

    While the British believed in centralized, industrialized and mechanized modes of production. Gandhi envisioned a decentralized, homegrown, handcrafted mode of production. In his words, “Not mass production, but production by the masses.” He said mass production is only concerned with the product, whereas production by the masses is concerned with the product, the producers and the process.

    Gandhi’s vision for a decentralized, small-scale economic structure in India comprised of interconnected self-reliant villages governed by participatory democracy is one we can work toward today. In this sense, Gandhi is the grandfather of the modern-day localist movement.

    Gandhi knew that with the globalization of the economy, countries would go to war to protect their economic interests—military war as well as economic war. He said we cannot have real peace in the world if we look at each other’s countries as sources for raw materials or as markets for finished industrial goods. “There is enough for everybody’s need, but not enough for anybody’s greed,” said Gandhi.

    Where do we begin?

    Like the Montgomery Bus Boycott and Gandhi’s salt march, social change begins with non-cooperation with the existing system. Once you make the choice to stop cooperating with the system you find immoral, you can begin to build an alternative.

    Everyone of us can start with something we care most about – refusing to eat meat produced in factory farms, refusing to buy clothes made in sweatshops, refusing to buy chocolate that uses slave labor, refusing to buy dirty energy. Once we make a commitment to stop cooperating with a system we oppose, we can begin to build a new one that expresses the values we care most about.

    When we decentralize our economy, beginning with our food and energy systems, we decentralize ownership, wealth and power. Decentralization creates more owners. The more owners the more equality.

    By working collaboratively, the peace and justice movement and the local business movement can build a new economy that serves all of us, while protecting our natural environment. Cooperation, generosity, and compassion for one another, as well as for other species, will assure our survival in a world at peace.

    Judy Wicks is an entrepreneur, author, speaker and mentor working to build a more compassionate, environmentally sustainable and locally based economy. http://www.Judywicks.com

  • The Return of The Black Madonna – by Matthew Fox

    The Return of the Black Madonna: A Sign of Our Times or How the Black Madonna Is Shaking Us Up for the Twenty-First Century
    by Matthew Fox

    The Return of the Black Madonna: A Sign of Our Times orHow the Black Madonna Is Shaking Us Up for the Twentyfirst Century

    Rev. Matthew Fox, Ph.D © 2006 Matthew Fox

    Every archetype has its seasons. They come and go according to the deepest, often unconscious, needs of the psyche both personal and collective. Today the Black Madonna is returning.[1] She is coming, not going, and she is calling us to something new (and very ancient as well). The last time the Black Madonna played a major role in western culture and psyche was the twelfth century renaissance, a renaissance that the great historian M.D. Chenu said was the “only renaissance that worked in the West.” [2] It worked because it was grass roots. And from this renaissance was birthed the University, the Cathedral, the city itself. She brought with her a resacralization of culture and a vision that awakened the young. In short, it was the last time the goddess entered western culture in a major way. In this essay I want to address what the Black Madonna archetype awakens in us and why she is so important for the twenty-first century. But before I do that, I want to tell a personal story of my first encounter with the Black Madonna. That encounter occurred in the Spring of 1968 when I was a student in Paris and took a brief trip—my first—to Chartres Cathedral located about thirty five miles from Paris. While all of Chartres was an amazing eye-opener for me, its sense of cosmology and humor and human dignity and inclusion of all of life, I stood before the statue of the black Madonna and was quite mesmerized. “What is this? Who is this?” I asked myself. A French woman came by and I quizzed her about it. The answer was as follows. “Oh, this is a statue that turned black over the years because of the number of candles burning around it,” she declared. I didn’t believe her. It made no sense. I looked carefully and saw no excessive candle power around the statue. The story is an old one, one of ignorance and of racism. Even the French, at their most central holy spot, have lost the meaning and the story of the Black Madonna. And racism has contributed to this neglect. The Black Madonna is found all over Europe—in Sicily, Spain, Switzerland, France, Poland, Chechoslavakia—as well as in Turkey and in Africa and in Asia as Tara in China and as Kali in India. She is also named by Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico. (Sometimes called the “brown Madonna.”) What is she about and why is interest returning in her today? An archetype by definition is not about just one thing. No metaphor, no symbol, is a literal mathematical formula. The Black Madonna meant different things in different historical periods and different cultural settings. What I want to explore is why she is re-emerging in our time and what powers she brings with her. Why do we need the Black Madonna today? I detect twelve gifts that the Black Madonna archetype brings to our time. They are more than gifts, they are challenges. She comes to shake us up which, as we shall see, is an ancient work of Isis, the Black Madonna.

    1. The Black Madonna is Dark and calls us to the darkness.. Darkness is something we need to get used to again—the “Enlightenment” has deceived us into being afraid of the dark and distant from it. Light switches are illusory. They feed the notion that we can “master nature” (Descartes’ false promise) and overcome all darkness with a flick of our finger. Meister Eckhart observes that “the ground of the soul is dark.”[3] Thus to avoid the darkness is to live superficially, cut off from one’s ground, one’s depth. The Black Madonna invites us into the dark and therefore into our depths. This is what the mystics call the “inside” of things, the essence of things. This is where Divinity lies. It is where the true self lies. It is where illusions are broken apart and the truth lies. Andrew Harvey puts it this way: “The Black Madonna is the transcendent Kali-Mother, the black womb of light out of which all of the worlds are always arising and into which they fall, the presence behind all things, the darkness of love and the loving unknowing into which the child of the Mother goes when his or her illumination is perfect.” [4] She calls us to that darkness which is mystery itself. She encourages us to be at home there, in the presence of deep, black, unsolveable mystery. She is, in Harvey’s words, “the blackness of divine mystery, that mystery celebrated by the great Aphophatic mystics, such as Dionysisus Areopagite, who see the divine as forever unknowable, mysterious, beyond all our concepts, hidden from all our senses in a light so dazzling it registers on them as darkness.” [5] Eckhart calls God’s darkness a “superessential darkness, a mystery behind mystery, a mystery within mystery that no light has penetrated.”[6] To honor darkness is to honor the experience of people of color. [7] Its opposite is racism. The Black Madonna invites us to get over racial stereotypes and racial fears and projections and to go for the dark.

    2. The Black Madonna calls us to cosmology, a sense of the whole of space and time. Because she is dark and leads us into the dark, the Black Madonna is also cosmic. She is the great cosmic Mother on whose lap all creation exists. The universe itself is embraced and mothered by her. She yanks us out of our anthropocentrism and back into a state of honoring all our relations. She ushers in an era of cosmology, of our relationship to the whole (“kosmos” means whole in Greek) instead of just parts, be they nation parts or ethnic parts or religious parts or private parts. She pulls us out of the Newtonian parts-based relation to self and the world—out of our tribalism—into a relationship to the whole again. Since we are indeed inheriting a new cosmology in our time, a new “Universe Story”, the timing of the Black Madonna’s return could not be more fortuituous. She brings a blessing of the new cosmology, a sense of the sacred, to the task of educating our species in a new universe story. [8]

    3. The Black Madonna calls us down to honor our lower charkas. One of the most dangerous aspects of western culture is its constant flight upwards, its race to the upper charkas (Descartes: “truth is clear and distinct ideas”) and its flight from the lower charkas. The Black Madonna takes us down, down to the first charkas including our relationship to the whole (first chakra, as I have explained elsewhere is about picking up the vibrations for sounds from the whole cosmos), our sexuality (second chakra) and our anger and moral outrage (third chakra). European culture in the modern era especially has tried to flee from all these elements both in religion and in education. The Black Madonna will not tolerate such flights from the earth, flights from the depths. [9]

    4. Because she honors the direction of down and the lower charkas that take us there, the Madonna honors the earth and represents ecology and environmental concerns. Mother Earth is named by her very presence. Mother Earth is dark and fecund and busy birthing. So is the Black Madonna. Andrew Harvey says: “The Black Madonna is also the Queen of Nature, the blesser and agent of all rich fertile transformations in external and inner nature, in the outside world and in the psyche.” [10] Mother Earth nurtures her children and feeds the world and the Black Madonna welcomes them home when they die. She recycles all things. The Black Madonna calls us to the environmental revolution, to seeing the world in terms of our interconnectedness with all things and not our standing off to master or rule over nature (as if we could even if we tried). She is an affront to efforts of capitalist exploitation of the resources of the earth including the exploitation of the indigenous peoples who have been longest on the earth interacting with her in the most nuanced of ways. The Black Madonna sees things in terms of the whole and therefore does not countenance the abuse, oppression or exploitation of the many for the sake of financial aggrandizement of the few. She has always stood for justice for the oppressed and lower classes (as distinct from the lawyer classes). She urges us to stand up to those powers that, if they had their way, would exploit her beauty for short term gain at the expense of the experience of beauty that future generations will be deprived of. She is a conservationist, one who conserves beauty and health and diversity. Furthermore, if Thomas Berry is correct that “ecology is functional cosmology,” then to be called to cosmology is to be called to its local expression of ecology. One cannot love the universe and not love the earth. And, vice versa, one cannot love the earth and ignore its temporal and spatial matrix, the universe.

    5. The Black Madonna calls us to our depths, to living spiritually and radically on this planet and not superficially and unthinkingly and oblivious to the grace that has begotten us in so many ways. The depths to which we are called include the depths of awe, wonder and delight—joy itself is a depth experience we need to re-entertain in the name of the Black Madonna. She calls us to enter into the depths of our pain, suffering and shared grief—not to run from it or cover it up with a myriad of addictions ranging from shopping to drugs and alcohol and sport and superficial religion. She calls us to the depths of our creativity and to entertain the images that are born in and through us. And she calls us to the depths of transformation, of social, economic, gender, racial and eco justice and the struggle that must be maintained to carry on solidarity with the oppressed of any kind. She calls us to the depths of our psyche which, as Meister Eckhart says, are “dark” and to the depths of the earth, which are surely dark and to the depths of the sky that have also been rediscovered for all their darkness. Black holes abound in space as well as in the mysterious breadth of our souls. We need to explore them. They too are fecund. They have much to teach us.

    6. The Black Madonna calls us to our Divinity which is also our Creativity. First, our Divinity. Because she is a goddess, the Black Madonna resides in all beings. She is the divine presence inside of creation. She calls us inside, into the “kingdom/queendom of God” where we can co-create with Divinity and feel the rush of Divinity’s holy breath or spirit. But to call us to Divinity is to call us to our responsibility to give birth. If Carl Jung is correct when he says that creativity comes “from the realm of the mothers” then the Black Madonna, who is surely a realm of the mothers, calls us to creativity. She expects nothing less from us than creativity. Hers is a call to create, a call to ignite the imagination. What but our collective imaginations can succeed in moving us beyond our energy dependence on fossil fuels to an era of self-sustaining energy based on solar and renewable, clean fuels? What but an education in creativity can reinvent learning so that the joy and wonder and enticement of learning displaces our failing and boring educational systems? What but moral imagination can move us beyond the growing divide between materially impoverished nations and materially sated but spiritually impoverished nations? The Black Madonna would usher in an era where more and more artists will get good work and thrive on good work and reawaken the human soul by way of moral and political imagination. [11]

    7. The Black Madonna calls us to Diversity. There is no imagination without diversity—imagination is about inviting disparate elements into soul and culture so that new combinations can make love together and new beings can be birthed. Because the Black Madonna is black, she addresses the fundamental phobia around race and differences of color and culture that come with race and ethnic diversity. Meister Eckhart says: “All the names we give to God come from an understanding of ourselves.” [12] To give God the name “Black Madonna” is to honor blackness and all people of color and to get over an excessive whiteness of soul and culture. It is also to honor the feminine. Divinity is diverse. Diverse in color and diverse in traditions and diverse in gender. God as Mother, not just Father. God as Birther, not just Begetter. Gender diversity is honored by the Black Madonna and so too is gender preference. The Black Madonna, the Great Mother, is not homophobic. She welcomes the diversity of sexual preferences that are also part of creation, human and more than human. (We have now counted fifty four species of birds and mammals that have significant homosexual populations. The medieval notion that homosexuality is “against nature” has been disproven: A homosexual minority is very much part of nature.) John Boswell, in his ground-breaking scholarly work entitled Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality has demonstrated that the twelfth century, that century that birthed the great renaissance and the Black Madonna in France, rejected homophobia. For a period of 125 years—years that were the most creative years in western civilization—diversity was welcomed at all levels of society. [13] Creativity thrives on diversity.

    8. The Black Madonna calls us to Grieve. The Black Madonna is the sorrowful mother, the mother who weeps tears for the suffering in the universe, the suffering in the world, the brokenness of our very vulnerable hearts. In the Christian tradition she holds the dying Christ in her lap but this Christ represents all beings—it is the cosmic Christ and not just the historical Jesus that she is embracing, for all beings suffer and the Black Madonna, the Great Mother, knows this and empathizes with us in our pain. She embraces us like a tender mother, for compassion is her special gift to the world. She invites us to enter into our grief and name it and be there to learn what suffering has to teach us. Creativity cannot happen, birthing cannot happen, unless the grieving heart is paid attention to. Only by passing through grief can creativity burst forth anew. Grieving is an emptying, it is making the womb open again for new birth to happen. A culture that would substitute addictions for grieving is a culture that has lost its soul and its womb. It will birth nothing but more pain and abuse and misuse of resources. It will be a place where waste reigns and where Divinity itself wastes away unused in the hearts and imaginations of the people. Andrew Harvey writes of how the Black Madonna provides “an immense force of protection, an immense alchemical power of transformation through both grief and joy, and an immense inspiration to compassionate service and action in the world.” She is also “queen of hell,” or “queen of the underworld,…that force of pure suffering mystical love that annihilates evil at its root and engenders the Christ-child in the ground of the soul even as the world burns.” [14] She holds both creative and destructive aspects within her. To grieve is to enter what John of the Cross in the sixteenth century called the “dark night of the soul.” We are instructed not to run from this dark night but to stay there to learn what darkness has to teach us. The Dark Madonna does not run from the darkness of spirit and soul that sometimes encompasses us. She invites us not to flee from pain and suffering. Mechtild of Magdeburg in the thirteenth century wrote of this darkness in the following manner: “There comes a time when both body and soul enter into such a vast darkness that one loses light and consciousness and knows nothing more of God’s intimacy. At such a time when the light in the lantern burns out the beauty of the lantern can no longer be seen. With longing and distress we are reminded of our nothingness….I am hunted, captured, bound, wounded so terribly that I can never be healed. God has wounded be close unto death.” [15] Mechtild does not run from the darkness but stays and learns. “God replied: ‘I wish always to be your physician, bringing healing anointment for all your wounds. If it is I who allow you to be wounded so badly, do you not believe that I will heal you most lovingly in the very same hour?” [16] What is it we learn in this darkness of soul and spirit? “From suffering I have learned this: That whoever is sore wounded by love will never be made whole unless he embrace the very same love which wounded her.” [17]

    9.The Black Madonna calls us to Celebrate and to Dance. The Black Madonna, while she weeps tears for the world, as the sorrowful mother, does not wallow in her grief, does not stay there forever. Rather, she is a joyful mother, a mother happy to have being and to have shared it with so many other creatures. She expects joy in return. Celebration of life and its pleasures lie at the core of her reason for being. She expects us to take joy in her many pleasures, joy in her fruits. Sophia or Wisdom in the Scriptures sings to this element of pleasure and eros, deep and passionate love of life and all its gifts.

    I have exhaled a perfume like cinnamon and acacia, I have breathed out a scent like choice myrrh…. Approach me, you who desire me, And take your fill of my fruits, For memories of me are sweeter than honey, Inheriting me is sweeter than the honeycomb. They who eat me will hunger for more, They who drink me will thirst for more. Whoever listens to me will never have to blush….(Eccl. 24.15, 19-22)

    Celebration is part of compassion. As Meister Eckhart puts it: “What happens to another be it a joy or a sorrow happens to me.” Celebration is the exercise of our common joy. Praise is the noise that joy makes. Joy, praise and celebration are intrinsic to community and to the presence of the Black Madonna. She did not birth her Divine Child by whatever name in vain. She opts in favor of children, in favor of life, in favor of eros and in favor of biophilia. She is a lover of life par excellence. She expects us, her children, to be the same.

    10. The Black Madonna calls us to our Divinity which is Compassion. Compassion is the best of which our species is capable. It is also the secret name for Divinity. There is no spiritual tradition East or West, North or South, that does not exist to instruct its people in how to be compassionate. “Maat” is the name for justice, harmony, balance and compassion among the African peoples. The Black Madonna calls us to Maat. To balance, harmony, justice and compassion. Grieving and Celebrating and Acting Justly are all parts of compassion. In both Arabic and Hebrew, the word for compassion comes from the word for “womb.” A Patriarchal period does not teach compassion, it ignores the womb-like energies of our world and our species. If it mentions compassion at all it trivializes it and renders it sissy. (For example, Webster’s dictionary declares that the idea that compassion is about a relationship among equals is “obsolete.”) Patriarchy neglects what Meister Eckhart knew and taught: “Compassion means justice.” [18] Compassion has a hard side, it is not about sentiment but about relationships of justice and interdependence. Because the Black Madonna is the goddess that dwells deeply and darkly within all beings, ourselves included, she brings with her our capacity for compassion. We are not whole—we are not ourselves—until we partake in the carrying on of compassion. Meister Eckhart taught that the name of the human soul properly is “Compassion” and that until we are engaged in compassion we do not yet have soul. [19] Compassion knows when enough is enough; compassion does not overindulge; compassion does not hoard and does not run its life on addictions of insecurity and pyramid-building to overcome these addictions. Compassion trusts life and the universe ultimately to provide what is necessary for our being. But compassion works hard as a co-creator with the universe to see that a balance and basic fairness is achieved among beings. Compassion is present in the Black Madonna in her very essence for “the first outburst of everything God (and Goddess) does is compassion.” (Eckhart) To return to compassion is to return to the Goddess. Cultural historian and feminist Henry Adams writes about the role of Mary at Chartres Cathedral in the twelfth century. “The convulsive hold which Mary to this day maintains over human imagination—as you can see at Lourdes—was due much less to her power of saving soul or body than to her sympathy with people who suffered under law—justly or unjustly, by accident or design, by decree of God or by guile of Devil.” [20] Adams understood Mary as the Buddhist element in Christianity for with her as with Buddha, compassion is the first of all the virtues. “To Kwannon the Compassionate One and to Mary the Mother of God, compassion included the idea of sorrowful contemplation.” [21] Only the Great Mother could provide the compassion needed by the sorrowful human condition.

    The Mother alone was human, imperfect, and could love; she alone was Favour, Duality, Diversity. Under any conceivable form of religion, this duality must find embodiment somewhere, and the Middle Ages logically insisted that, as it could not be in the Trinity, either separately or together, it must be in the Mother. If the Trinity was in its essence Unity, the Mother alone could represent whatever was not Unity; whatever was irregular, exceptional, outlawed; and this was the whole human race.[22]

    She was beyond the law, a friend of the outlaws who appealed to the masses who “longed for a power above law—or above the contorted mass of ignorance and absurdity bearing the name of law.”[23] This power had to be more than human. It required the goddess. The Black Madonna, the goddess, provides the womb of the universe as the cosmic lap where all creatures gather. An ancient hymn dedicated to Isis underscores her cosmic role as sovereign over all of nature and queen of all the gods and goddesses.

    I am Nature, the universal Mother, mistress of all the elements, primordial child of time, sovereign of all things spiritual, queen of the dead, queen also of the immortals, the single manifestation of all gods and goddesses that are. My nod governs the shining heights of Heaven, the wholesome sea-breezes, the lamentable silences of the world below.[24]

    How like a twelfth century poem to the Christian goddess Mary is this ancient hymn to Isis. Alan of Lille wrote the following poem about Nature in the twelfth century:

    O child of God and Mother of things, Bond of the world, its firm-tied knot, Jewel set among things of earth, and mirror to all that passes away Morning star of our sphere; Peace, love, power, regimen and strength, Order, law, end, pathway, captain and source, Life, light, glory, beauty and shape, O Rule of our world! [25]

    Interestingly, Alan of Lille speaks of the “Mother of things” as a “firm-tied knot” and the Thet which is an important symbol of Isis is also understood to be a knot.[26] We play in her cosmic lap, we bump up against one another there, and we work for balance, Maat, and justice there. The Black Madonna is the Throne of Compassion, the Divine lap. That is the meaning of the name “Isis” and Isis is the African goddess who gave us the Black Madonna both in Ephesus, Turkey and through Spain and Sicily directly into Western Europe. Indeed, certain passages of the Christian Gospels such as the birth narratives, which are clearly not historical but are stories of the Cosmic Christ, are passages taken from stories about Isis and her son, Horus. Sir Ernest A. Wallis Budge, the late keeper of the Egyptian and Assyrian antiquities at the British Museum, writes:

    The pictures and sculptures wherein she is represented in the act of suckling Horus formed the foundation for the Christian paintings of the Madonna and Child. Several of the incidents of the wanderings of the Virgin with the Child in Egypt as recorded in the Apochryphal Gospels reflect scenes in the life of Isis…and many of the attributes of Isis, the God-mother, the mother of Horus…are identical with those of Mary the Mother of Christ.[27]

    11. The Black Madonna Calls us to a renaissance of culture, religion and the city. Isis often wears a regal headdress that symbolizes her name as meaning “throne” or “queen.” Erich Neumann has written about Isis as “Throne.”

    As mother and earth woman, the Great Mother is the ‘throne’ pure and simple, and, characteristically, the woman’s motherliness resides not only in the womb but also in the seated woman’s broad expanse of thigh, her lap on which the newborn child sits enthroned. To be taken on the lap is, like being taken to the breast, a symbolic expression for adoption of the child, and also for the man, by the Feminine. It is no accident that the greatest Mother Goddess of the early cults was named Isis, the ‘seat,’ ‘the throne,’ the symbol of which she bears on her head; and the king who ‘takes possession’ of the earth, the Mother Goddess, does so by sitting on her in the literal sense of the word.[28]

    The twelfth century renaissance was especially conscious of the role of “throne” and the goddess. In Latin the word for “throne” is “cathedra.” The medieval church gave birth to cathedrals—over 125 were built the size of Chartres—and every single one was dedicated to Mary with such titles as Notre Dame de Chartres, Notre Dame de Lyons, Notre Dame de Paris, etc. Over 375 other churches the size of these cathedrals were built dedicated to Mary also. In many of these cathedrals a statue to the Black Madonna can be found even to this day. A cathedral by definition meant the throne where the goddess sits ruling the universe with compassion and justice for the poor. Anthropocentrism, clericalism and sexism have co-opted the invention of cathedral to mean the “place where the bishop has his (usually his) throne.” This is false. The cathedral is designed to be the center of the city, it is bringing the goddess to the center of the city to bring the city alive with goddess energies and values. Cities were birthed in the twelfth century with the breakup of the land-based economy and religious and political system of the feudal era. The youth fled to the cities where religion reinvented itself apart from the monastic establishment that ruled for eight centuries and where education invented itself apart from the rural monastic educational system in the form of universities. Worship reinvented itself in the Cathedral in the city and apart from the monastic liturgical practice in the countryside. Today for the first time in human history more than 50% of humans are living in cities; By 2015, over two-thirds of humans—a great proportion of them young people—will be living in cities. The Black Madonna and the “throne as goddess” motif contribute to the resurrection of our cities. They give us a center, a cosmic center, a synthesis and unity and a life-energy by which we can redeem our cities and take them back from lifelessness and thanatos. Artists gather in a city. Celebration and ritual happen in a city. Nature and human nature congregate in a city. No wonder Meister Eckhart and other medieval mystics celebrated the human soul as city and the city as soul. It is the task of a renaissance to bring soul back to city. We might even define renaissance as a “rebirth of cities based on a spiritual initiative.”

    12. The Black Madonna calls us to reinvent education and art. The goddess also ruled at the university—she was “Queen of the sciences” and “mistress of all the arts and sciences” who was “afraid of none of them, and did nothing, ever, to stunt any of them.”[29] All learning was to culminate in her. She was about wisdom not just knowledge. The renaissance that the Madonna represented was both religious and educational. Often the headdress of Isis depicts the full moon between curved horns and has the shape of the musical instrument that the Egyptians played in her honor called the sistrum. Plutarch stated that the purpose of the sistrum which is a kind of rattle was that “all things in existence need to be shaken, or rattled about…to be agitated when they grow drowsy and torpid.” [30] The Black Madonna shakes things up. Is this not an archetype for our times? Is she not a forebearer of a renaissance, one who comes to give new birth to a civilization, a birth based on a new sense of spirituality and cosmology and learning—a learning that reawakens us to our place in the universe? How will work in the world become wise as opposed to exploitive without wisdom? How will the human soul move from knowledge to wisdom without the kind of effort the goddess can bring? Without a balance of male/female, heart/head, body/spirit truly happening at all levels of education from childhood to professional degrees? How will a renaissance happen if education is left behind? What role will art play when the artist too lets go of the internalized oppression of the modern era and recommits himself/herself to serving the community and to serving the larger community of ecological sustainability? [31] These are some of the questions raised by the return of the Black Madonna in our time. They beg for response. They beg for listening ears and attentive institutions. They beg for self criticism of nation-states, governments, corporations, academia, religion, law, professions of all kinds which are called to something new (and very ancient): a new relationship between earth and humans. One of mutuality, not mastering. One of joy and wonder, not boredom. One that honors all our relations. For this to come about some rattling of our modern cages and mindsets is in order. The Black Madonna provides such a shake-up. Still. After all these centuries.

    FOOTNOTES

    [1] See, for example, China Galland, Longing for Darkness: Tara and the Black Madonna (New York: Viking, 1990). [2] See M. D. Chenu, Nature, Man and Society in the Twelfth Century (Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press, 1957), chapter one. [3] Matthew Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart (Santa Fe: Bear & Co., 1982), 42. [4] Andrew Harvey, The Return of the Mother (Berkeley, Frog, Ltd. 1995), 371. [5] Ibid. [6] Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart, 43. [7] See Eulalio R. Baltazar, The Dark Center: A Process Theology of Blackness (New York: Paulist, 1973). [8] See Brian Swimme and Thomas Berry, The Universe Story (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1992) and Brian Swimme, The Hidden Heart of the Cosmos (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 1996). [9] For a fuller development of the charkas see Matthew Fox, Sins of the Spirit, Blessings of the Flesh (New York: Harmony, 1999), 94-116; 167-327. [10] Harvey, 371. [11] Cf. Suzi Gablik, The Reenchantment of Art (New York: Thames and Hudson, 1991). [12] Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart, 42. [13] John Boswell, Christianity, Tolerance and Homosexuality (Chicago: Univ. of Chicago Press, 1980). [14] Harvey, The Return of the Mother, 372f. [15] Sue Woodruff, Meditations with Mechtild of Magdeburg (Sante Fe, Bear & Co., 1982), 60f., 64f. [16] Ibid., 68. [17] Ibid., 69. [18] Fox, Meditations with Meister Eckhart, 103. [19] Matthew Fox, Passion For Creation: The Earth-Honoring Spirituality of Meister Eckhart (Rochester, Vt.: Inner Traditions, 2000), 442. [20] R. P. Blackmur, Henry Adams (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1980), 203. [21] Ibid. [22] Ibid., 204. [23] Ibid., 203. [24] Eloise McKinney-Johnson, “Egypt’s Isis: The Original Black Madonna” Journal of African Civilizations, April, 1984, 66. [25] Chenu, Nature, Man and Society in the Twelfth Century, 19. [26] See McKinney-Johnson, 71. [27] Ibid., 67. [28] Ibid., 68. [29] Blackmur, Henry Adams, 206. [30] See McKinney-Johnson, 71. [31] See Gablik, The Reenchantment of Art.

  • Jonathon Porritt reviews Designing Regenerative Cultures by Daniel Christian Wahl (with some replies by the author)

    Jonathon Porritt reviews Designing Regenerative Cultures by Daniel Christian Wahl (with some replies by the author)

    SAVING THE WORLD MAY NOT BE SO EASY — Jonathon Porritt applauds a fine piece of analysis of our global ills, but has reservations about its author’s political realism.

    I’m conflicted here. At one level, I really enjoyed Daniel Wahl’s Designing Regenerative Cultures, and I know that the majority of Resurgence & Ecologist readers will too. At another, it made me grind my teeth in frustration!

    There’s so much distilled experience here that it’s hard to know where to start. First and foremost, it’s an extraordinary intellectual and analytical resource, providing as good a picture of contemporary holistic, systems-based thinking as you’re likely to find. Wahl’s new book lays bare exactly what’s wrong with today’s economic orthodoxy (and the deeper worldviews that lie behind it), before pointing the way to today’s “regenerative solutions” — in the worlds of design, culture, agriculture, economics and finance.

    Along the way, the reader gets to know many of the key figures who feature so prominently in Wahl’s own personal pantheon — as he says, we should indeed be drawing down on more than 40 years of deep wisdom and “whole-systems understanding”. It’s inspiring stuff.

    The heading of his first chapter (‘Why Change the Narrative Now?’) is authoritatively answered. And it’s salutary to be offered such a radically different take on today’s multiple, converging crises, which he sees as “symptoms of our pathological habit of understanding and experiencing ourselves as separate from nature”.

    Through that lens, today’s economic orthodoxy is indeed “a dangerous ideology”, and our economic and monetary systems are indeed “structurally dysfunctional”. The social and environmental externalities of pursuing progress through exponential economic growth and unconstrained consumerism become clearer and more life-threatening by the day.

    The contours of the kind of alternative regenerative economy that we need so urgently are also eloquently outlined – with the emphasis on thoughtful, design-based solutions, resilience, ecoliteracy (“learning from living systems”), the circular economy, green chemistry, industrial ecology, and so on. Familiar stuff, but Wahl’s own applied work (with the International Futures Forum, for instance, and indeed through some of the projects that he’s pursued with my own organisation, Forum for the Future) keeps it grounded and relevant.

    Wahl’s “listening out for wholeness” is therefore both intellectual and practical. It is not, as such, detached from today’s realities, in that he recognises unequivocally that our chances of creating regenerative cultures are slim without first creating more equitable cultures. And his idea of “caring for life as a whole” is inspiring:

    By caring for the Earth, and all of life, we care for ourselves. By embracing our own nature as an expression of nature at large, humanity can become a conscious force of healing. Keeping the limits of our own knowing in mind, we can begin to humbly contribute to the flourishing rather than the impoverishment of life. Overcoming the pain and the isolation of the narrative of separation means learning to love ourselves in order to love life more fully.

    But (and this is where the teeth-grinding kicks in!) no serious attempt is made to explain how this demonstrably preferable worldview is ever going to gain traction in the world as it is today. Any references to politics or politicians or political parties and systems are entirely tokenistic; one of Wahl’s chapters is headed “Activism Revisited”, but, notwithstanding his admiration for activists such as Vandana Shiva and Naomi Klein, there is no acknowledgement anywhere in the book that we’re battling today with a pathological super-privileged elite (the 1% of the 1%), who are not going anywhere any time soon. And they, of course, are entirely relaxed about the inchoate, permanently peripheralised movement that Wahl enthusiastically presents to us.

    [DCW reply: I made a conscious decision to write a positive book that refrains from finger pointing and my involvement with helping to launch the Commonwealth Secretariat’s ‘Regenerative Development to Reverse Climate Change’ initiative is an attempt to influence 52 national government to implement a different development path and a whole systems approach to the converging crises we are facing.]

    Which means that a sense of make-believe is never far away. Wahl asserts, for instance, that the “calls for degrowth” are getting louder all the time, forgetting that the original debate about limits to growth reverberated throughout mainstream politics throughout the 1970s, only to disappear almost without trace in the 1980s. And whilst it’s true that the “meme of ecologically inspired design” is indeed out there making gentle waves in the world of design, the mainstream worlds of design, engineering and business education have been unbelievably slow in responding to a physical world already transformed (largely for the worse) by today’s overlapping ecological disasters.

    [DCW reply: The above paragraph is more to do with Jonathon licking his political wounds and confusing consciously not mentioning something with forgetting something. … as for the slow up-take in the world of design, engineering and business education, I have been involved — as an educator who as written curriculum for many universities, design schools, leadership trainings, and organizations like Gaia Education — in changing that for at least a decade. Exponential change always starts with a slow increase — the time of Jonathon’s professionally most active period. I still believe that these fields are changing ever faster in response to the urgency for systemic transformation.]

    This becomes a real problem when we move on to many of the chunky areas. Whilst I can’t help but sympathise wholeheartedly with Wahl’s characterisation of just how radically we’re going to have to transform land use and agriculture, what’s missing is the clinical, politically honed insights of people like Colin Tudge, who’ve demonstrated time after time that today’s food production systems have little to do with providing people with healthy, nutritious and sustainable diets, but everything to do with the untrammelled pursuit of profit at almost any cost.

    [DCW: Agreed, and as much as I tried to create a comprehensive synthesis of converging crises and pathways towards regenerative cultures, it is impossible to include everything in one book.]

    Let’s be honest about this. Most of those who embrace Wahl’s inspiring vision of a better world, built on an Earth-centric, compassionate, holistic worldview, have long since given up on contemporary politics. Most don’t belong to a political party; even fewer are actually out there campaigning or shouting out loud about what needs to happen.

    Is that viable? As one of the few who are still up to their eyeballs in the politics of it all, I can’t help but wonder how this chronic disconnect will be resolved. And whilst I agree wholeheartedly with Wahl’s belief “that there is still a chance of making it through the eye of the needle”, I don’t believe that will happen if we remain so reluctant to confront the nature of contemporary power in today’s political and business elites.

    [DCW: I am deeply grateful to Jonathon for this review and I agree with most of the shortcomings he highlights and with the need for a new kind of political respons-ability of people participating in what Bucky Fuller called ‘creating a new systems that makes the old one obsolete’. I highlight in the book that we need to turn the political ideal of subsidiarity into a pathway for creating political systems based on cosmopolitan bioregionalism — that evolve flexible solutions elegantly adapted to the bio-cultural uniqueness of place through global collaboration and knowledge exchange.]

    [First published in Resurgence & Ecologist Issue 298]
    Daniel Christian Wahl: Glocal educator, activist and consultant, generalized in whole systems design and transformative innovation for regenenerative cultures