Category Archives: Articles by me

A left-handed Shame Attack

From her seat next to her husband, the headmaster’s wife called my name, following it with a rhetorical question, designed to shame me: Continue reading

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ON SILENCE by Ardhan Swatridge

Probably the biggest challenge and barrier for any of us to deal with in trying to pursue a spiritual practice is, in our search for some degree of inner peace and self-acceptance, we eventually realise that our restless minds endlessly … Continue reading

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Teenage Trauma of a pretty ‘Bum Boy’.

It has taken me fifty years to reach a point in my life where I feel ready to talk openly about some of my teenage boarding school experiences. Since my late thirties I have tried to address the most painful … Continue reading

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Sexual Abuse & Trauma relived – Part two

My defences against verbal abuse are strong; walled-off and defended after years of boarding school life, away from the relative safety and protection of family and home. I am numbed, emotionally starved, often lonely and miserable, having been relentlessly taunted … Continue reading

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Sexual Abuse & Trauma relived – the first of a two-part account

I am settling down in bed, adjusting to the dark, relaxing after my day, and dropping into the beginnings of sleep. Suddenly I hear movement around me as 6 or 8 male figures loom over me, surrounding my bed. I … Continue reading

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Aging is Humbling

These days I frequently  find myself sitting in wonder and confusion as to where my life has gone. My logical mind tells me that I have now lived three score years and seven; I have memories and momentos that help … Continue reading

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Decisiveness, Uncertainty & Not-knowing

Decisiveness is considered a valuable and necessary quality in contemporary society, and it has probably always been that way. One of early man’s essential survival skills was his ability to think quickly and act decisively under pressure, using his weapons, … Continue reading

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