I sit cross-legged in deep reverence I feel a slight loosening of the bands that tie me to my ego’s trivial reality, as my heart begins to open to you, my beloved. Waves of emotion begin to flow through me. Mere ripples at first, like the surface of a lake ruffled in the breeze or the murmuring of the wind in pine trees.
In this way I begin to sense you and offer myself for surrender to you whose love my heart longs for, whose reality is the deep ocean, the vast sky, the infinity of space – and yet so intimate, so close.
I sense a fluttering in my chest and then deeper sighs of grief rise from my belly; from the tomb of those lost years in the lonely desert. And underlying the emerging light in my heart, a sadness for the many years of seeking in vain in relationship – my human experience of fear and blocked emotions, my self-made prison of numbness, my avoidance of deep connection for the sake of my wounded ego’s safety. A safety that only prolongued the pain of what my soul knew lay beyond its reach.
Lower down in my second chakra I begin feeling the stirrings of a new aliveness, as you touch me, my inner beloved, as you come to me at last bringing the simple knowing of that deeper connection, filling my loins with the longing of divine attraction – body and spirit meeting in sacred union, as you come home to me or I come home to you. I visualize you letting me in, coupling in divine ecstasy.
My heart is a golden cave made of light where you sit, my beloved – you who knows and adores me completely in all my glory and all my woundedness. You have always been there, my inner companion, guide and lover. My soul has longed for you always, yet you remained unreachable, blocked by the smaller me.
Now I imagine resting my head on your soft motherly chest, relaxing into the total acceptance you offer me, the immense safety of your physical presence that holds me in your protective loving arms. My breath quivers as old grief shivers through me, melting the ice of those wilderness years of aloneness and separation from you.
Be fully with me now, my beloved. Enter me, infuse me with your healing Shakti energy. Liberate me, as we meld together as one, inseparable in a timeless union of passion.
I hover in brief moments of bliss as all becomes still, silent, barely a breath and only the subtlest presence of your love that bathes me, as it pervades everything that exists. Shakti and Shiva in divine embrace.