ANGER IS BEAUTIFUL…

How does that above heading make you feel? Why do we fear our anger so deeply? We call it bad, wrong, damaging, lo vibration, crazy, insane, ugly, tormenting. Yet through religion, and revenge, people are killing each other daily with war and domestic violence. Using God as a reason to justify the murderous acts. War has been at the hands of men since the beginning of time. What if the end of War and Murder, is the courageous act of understanding our anger? Then there are those that are victim to anger in submission.. The reason for out of control anger is complex and we are only tipping the ice berg at how to manage anger.

1. Blame

2. Submission

3. Unbalanced silence

4. Matre

5. Perfectionism

6. Self-blame

7. Undisciplined

8. Drug and alcohol addiction

9. Lack of purpose

10. Numbness

11. Confusion

12. Anxiety

1. Self-responsibility

2. integrative

3. Wholeness

4. Clarity

5. Action

6. Justice

7. Calm expression

8. Will

9. Passion

10. Peace

11. Sacred Activism

Throughout history we have tried to ‘deal’, with anger. Please do not give me this, ‘you are fine smile and the land of unicorns and butterfly’s’. That kind of attitude cannot even walk down the street of people whom are in helplessness and in addiction without being disgusted with noses pointed up in the air. A shock to the system when someone is even acting out of anger. Thinking that the option and solution is to run away from anger. I am not referring to discernment nor allowing people into your life whom are projecting anger at you, through abuse. .But people are seriously immensely suffering underneath when they are in anger that is not managed. Letting go has its place with self-preservation and values. I am talking about the core attitude in relation to unconditional love. Unicorn’s cannot even deal with and environment of people whom are deeply vulnerable, without thinking in their minds of wanting to change everyone in the room. That is not true compassion.

Joy, that is not linked to power and passion, is dissociated, dysfunctional and dangerous to the world, and those kind of people run from suffering, get exhausted by those suffering, and even laugh at those suffering. Well, the new age is moving into community and you can have the choice to move away from drama or not attract it in your life, there is a way to move with anger.

I have worked in Palliative care for over six years and every emotion that you have not faced and integrated will arise at the point of death. I have rarely witnessed a death that has not done so, unless you are very drugged up with morphine. So why not open all spaces in you that is truth? No one is asking you to tell everyone you are angry, get some help, there is so many modalities and beautiful body work professionals whom would gladly hold space whilst you process this beautiful energy. I have met a few myself. There is also a Yoga practice by Chakra Evolution who would gladly allow you to process anger.

I do also know how it feels to be in total anxiety around anger.

If this is the case? There is help and support.

The very moment we blame someone and ourselves for anything in that case, relationships, jobs, money, health, weather…………we are stepping out of our power. It is easy, I know, to blame because we don’t want to feel the anger within us, we are deeply afraid of the anger. Of what we can do and capable of if we just for a moment allow the anger to be present in every aspect of ourselves.

In the seventies we spat out anger all over the joint, with wars and abuse and riots without any social empathy. It was a stage of revolution. Then we hit apathy in the eighties and nineties, with the fear of being attacked and vulnerable. We are now viewing the consequences of both extremes of anger, destruction. Destruction of nature, destruction of ourselves, allowing systems to take advantage of the people, no regard for the health and values of the public as a whole, wider poverty and suffering of children on a grand scale.

Thousands of child trafficking and we ignore it because we feel helpless. This helplessness is actually repressed anger. We are more powerful than we actually think we are.

It takes patience, persistence, pratice and discipline to re calibrate the mind to be in powerful anger. So please it is not that you are not allowed to blame initially, because this can turn to self blame if not projected, it is the awareness of the possibility to take your power back.

So why do we have anger in the first place?

❖ Your inner child was exposed to abuse. (verbal, emotional, physical and psychological)

❖ You were not supported in your emotions in a healthy way.

❖ Abandonment.

❖ Parents whom had fear around anger (both internally and externally).

❖ Shame

❖ You were told and informed that how you felt was wrong.

❖ You were not guided to manage anger.

❖ Children exposed to control crying.

❖ Hyper vigilant parents. (shame)

❖ Media (TV)

❖ Lack of creativity

❖ Lack of security

❖ Lack of free thinking

❖ Sinned

❖ Belief of Hell

❖ God Fearing

❖ Lack of Routine

❖ Inequality between siblings

❖ Parent’s whom had an expectation of ‘making’ children responsible for their joy.

❖ Sacrificial

❖ Hopelessness

❖ Helplessness

❖ Being Blamed

All of those have not seen the light of day and loved back into your tender heart if you have not felt the anger that is masking the fire.

Please go back and check the first list, Powerless Anger, if you truly believe that you do not have anger, in one form or another.

Shame is the shield that protects Powerless Anger (see above for this).

SHAME is a feeling of being wrong, or intrinsically bad, hiding, silently suffering, not good enough, externally seeking happiness, grandiose ideologies, self-importance, Lack of empathy, feeling of smallness, lack of trust and faith in self and God, an emotional attachment of others changing.

Shame needs to be acknowledged, felt, held and seen for what it is without pushing, pulling and forcing.

Shame in its fullness; feels like a skin crawling sensation. Triple that sensation if you have been exposed to child sexual trauma. This is why we are in denial, because it takes such great courage and will to feel these nervous system responses that is hidden in the amygdala of fight or flight.

In Powerless Anger we are limited in the ability to manifest and achieve goals.

THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ANGER IS THE MASK OF POWER AND PASSION< THE FIRE THAT MANIFESTS YOUR LIFE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE MOVE.

Are you terrified of your anger?

It is because you have not been shown that anger is healthy.

Under the influence of drugs and alcohol, anger can NOT be effectively calibrated and the mind is altered. This is one aspect of anger being acted out in dysfunctional ways, such as violence. Cases such as Autism and schizophrenia, needs attention more than just feeling through the emotion. There is another component to anger that is violent and that is when anger is attached to extreme internalized shame. The other side of the coin is that healthy shame and guilt towards anger helps us to be under some kind of control whilst in processing anger.

Your power house and center for manifesting is not through the heart alone, as the heart is a space of holding, compassion and nurturing. The center of the fire that burns a flame inside, is the engine to move and change your life. Fire transmutes and transforms and gets us out of depression. In most cases those that are deeply depressed are in fear of anger both from the external and internalized.

If you are not accessing powerful anger, then you are not effectively moving into power and manifestation. Individuals that mistaken overwhelm with true trauma triggering of the amygdala (fight or flight organ)? The clinical symptoms of true overwhelm in the midst of emotional process? …..

• Sudden unexplained headaches • a feeling of absence and not fully present to the outer world, like unable to recognize objects in the room • memory loss • unable to hear what others are saying • unable to retain information • outward physical projected anger that is violent • sudden tiredness and lethargy, that is not an onset of hard work and a needing of rest • dreamy absence or day dreaming.

So in order to recognize any of this beginning to happen, there would be symptoms, such as a sudden onset of a headache that is not the usual case for you, dizziness and a dreamy absence, as soon as these come on, you just stop. Train your body and mind consistently and then take a deep breath, and come back into your body by focusing on your feet, tapping on your legs, grab a pillow to hug, focus on objects in the room and the present. Physical associations and body work is a huge one for this to be integrated effectively. If not nature helps. You can ask nature herself to help ground you into your body.

If you feel there is a modality that can assist with the sensitivity and you find it challenging to embody anger effectively? Then please this is not an attachment to what your choices are, it is just a psychotherapy perspective of honoring the anger, instead of having fear around anger. A greater detail into understanding anger.

• experienced body work trauma specialist

• chakra evolution yoga

• physical contact with others that you trust

• holding soft fabrics and pillows

• a psychotherapist whom can guide you through anger by mirroring and establishing calibrated anger (see above)

• stop communicating when anger arises

• take a deep breath

• acknowledge anger as being a positive energy

• allow

• feel

• release

• feels cold and sharp

• muscles clenched tight and inwards

• shallow quick spurts of anger

• shoulders shrugged inwards and up

• abdomen held tightly inward

• clammy

• heart racing

• chest expanded

• muscles stretched outwards

• heat sensation

• deep breathing

• palms open

At a recent retreat in Bali, three men were allowed to process anger in a functional non destructive way. I had never felt so safe around men my entire life. So much so that my womb opened in a swirl of yummy organic aliveness.

ANGER: THE EXTRAORDINARY FIRE INSIDE

Anger is not dark. Anger is not dangerous. Anger is not unspiritual. Anger is not ‘bad’. Anger is not a sign of our lack of evolution. Or our failure. Or our lack of insight, peace, enlightenment, maturity, health. Anything. Anger is simply fire. Fire can burn. Fire can cleanse. Fire can illuminate. Fire can heal. Anger is a real and valid emotion, billions of years old, intelligently rising in the body to protect us from a real or imaginary threat. Wanting to set boundaries. Ready to say no. Willing to stand up for our values. Yearning to be heard. Anger is not the problem. Anger is not inherently violent. It is in our REACTION to our anger – that is where the violence begins. When we repress and reject our anger-power, when we stuff it down, refuse to feel it or even acknowledge it, hide it in order to be ‘nice’ and please and impress and protect others. When we attack and hurt others in order to find relief from our anger. When we judge and shame and rage and manipulate and try to control others – what they think, what they feel, what they desire or do not. Try to make them feel bad. Punish them. That is where the ‘darkness’ lies. In the reaction to our anger. In our search for discharge. In our running. In our disembodiment. Not in the anger itself. Anger is only energy, fierce and powerful energy arising in the body, not a sin or an ‘unspiritual’ force to be eradicated, but a creative and fiery expression of life itself. Anger is simply a raw part of us asking to be met. With understanding. With compassion. With love. With slowness. With breath. Some of the most violent people I have ever met have been (on the surface) the most ‘spiritual’ ones – the enlightened ones, the gurus, the perfect ones, the ones who ‘never get angry’, the ones who are ‘always peaceful and calm and in a state of perfect love and equanimity’, the ones who ‘dwell in pure Awareness’. Yeah, right. For there is no true love without love for our anger, when it comes to visit. True light is willing and able to enlighten the shadow, and bless the mess. Anger is not inherently dark. Anger is not dangerous. Anger is not unspiritual. Anger is not ‘bad’. Or shameful. Or sinful. All these outdated beliefs stem from a profound fear and misunderstanding and distrust of the body. We can undo the conditioning: Next time anger surges, as it will, can you slow down, connect, breathe, feel, breathe again, and get curious about the fire inside? Underneath your anger, you may just discover, a tender, fragile, frightened heart, a beautiful vulnerability, and a self-protective power, billions of years in the making. – Jeff Foster

By Norma Saba

copyright January 2019

Thankyou to those who inspired this article.

Collette Oonah Corcoran

Jeff Foster